Mental Health – Melissa Schlies

Before Setting Goals, Do This First in 2022

Three months into my first job in youth ministry, I sat in the office of one of my coworkers. My shoulders were hunched. My eyes were heavy. I was afraid I was going to cry if I said too much. I felt so empty. Across from me sat one of the few fellow women leaders on our staff. She was a force, and yet cast a motherly gaze directly into my face. Though I was trying hard to keep it together, she drew out of me what I needed so badly to say: The way I was leading and living [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2022-01-03T01:01:55+00:00January 3rd, 2022|Categories: Balance, Habit Making, Health, Holidays, Mental Health, perseverance, Practice, Routines, Self Care, Social Distancing, Start Here|Comments Off

Sometimes, Gratitude Isn’t Enough

Halloween is over. Somehow it’s already November. In a few weeks we’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving with loved ones. And if our festivities aren’t too chaotic, there will be a moment when we’ll reflect on what we’re thankful for this year. Individually or collectively, we’ll practice gratitude. For some of us, this activity will feel like vanilla ice cream on an already delicious slice of apple pie. But for others of us, gratitude will feel like the taste of your aunt’s over baked sweet potato casserole with charred marshmallows on top. You know it’s supposed to be sweet, but all you [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-10-31T23:31:51+00:00November 1st, 2021|Categories: Contentment, Depression, gratitude, grief, Health, Hope, Mental Health, Self Care|Comments Off

Simon Biles, The Lies We Believe About Rest, & An Announcement

Did you feel it? The Earth shifting under our feet last week as a woman stepped away from what was expected of her—to take care of herself. Through prioritizing her mental health over Olympic glory, Simone Biles modeled what many of us women struggle greatly to do: She chose rest. She chose herself. Instead of trying to meet the expectations of her country, judges, colleagues, friends, coaches, and family, Simone listened to what her mental, emotional, and physical self was telling her. She couldn’t keep going. So she stopped. I am not sure what your journey with rest and self [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-08-01T20:01:39+00:00August 2nd, 2021|Categories: Anxiety, Balance, Courage, Habit Making, Health, Mental Health, Self Care|Comments Off

Five Routines Worth Revisiting This Season

Sometimes, when I talk about routines, I feel what I imagine my mom must have felt when she used to tell us to eat our vegetables. Like I am encouraging you, my online friends, to finish your spinach. I’m so the life of the party. Routines can feel as interesting as eating broccoli, but I have to tell you—when I find myself in a good daily rhythm, life feels more like cake and ice cream. There’s less pushing through. Instead, when I am practicing the right routines, there is more time savoring my life. Like when Tony and I are [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-05-01T11:16:39+00:00April 19th, 2021|Categories: Change, discipline, Faith, Food, Habit Making, Health, Mental Health, Practice, Routines|4 Comments

When Self Care Isn’t Enough

I used to think being strong meant nothing bothered you. Like Wonder Woman, you were able to deflect all that tried to bring you down. Or similar to body builders who keep telling their spotters to add more weights to their barbells, people could continue to place their burdens on your shoulders and you’d never break a sweat. For years, I tried to be this person. To carry responsibilities that weren’t mine when others were struggling. To hold the grief, heartache, or pain of those I cared about. To keep the world from falling a part (as if I could). [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-03-14T15:00:15+00:00March 15th, 2021|Categories: Adulting, Depression, grief, Health, Hope, Mental Health, Self Care|Comments Off

What I’m Returning to in 2021

Unless we’re talking about the return of our favorite TV show, the word “return,” doesn’t always feel good. For example, if you’re returning home to move back in with your parents, because you don’t have your next step in life, it may sting of defeat. “Returning to the scene of the crime” doesn’t only refer to a bank that’s been robbed, but also to places where we’ve messed up. Maybe even places where we’ve been hurt. And, “Returning to the gym” isn’t often a very promising phrase either. In many situations, Returning doesn’t have a victorious ring to it. It [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-01-22T21:49:00+00:00January 25th, 2021|Categories: Balance, Habit Making, Health, Mental Health, perseverance, Routines, Self Care|Comments Off

Finding What Feeds Us As the Pandemic Lingers

A few Sundays ago, Tony and I had a bad mood day. I’d had a terrible dream the night before, waking up with this awful feeling I couldn’t shake. And, as we work from home, we hadn’t left the house in too many days to count. We wanted to get out and do something—only because of the Pandemic and cold winter weather, our options were basically shopping, or shopping. Whenever we used to feel like we needed a break from life, pre-pandemic, we always hit the road. Though we knew our dilemma was basically champaign problems, we felt so discouraged [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-01-18T16:13:59+00:00January 18th, 2021|Categories: Balance, Change, grief, Habit Making, Health, Loneliness, Mental Health, perseverance, Social Distancing, Travel|Comments Off

How to Fight Loneliness (Because It Always Comes)

When I was a kid, I thought loneliness was sitting alone at the lunch table at school. Having no one to hang out with at recess. Or that temporary feeling I’d get when my closest friend was on vacation with her family. Little did I know, there are so many kinds of lonely, and as we go through life, we feel them all. There are so many kinds of lonely, and as we go through life, we feel them all. There is the kind of loneliness that comes when we leave home and realize for the first time, we are [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-11-04T21:52:15+00:00November 5th, 2020|Categories: Habit Making, Lead, Learn, Loneliness, Love, Love Learn Lead, Mental Health, Relationships, Self Care, Social Distancing|Comments Off

Don’t Forget To Be Still

“When we feel like there isn’t enough time in the day for us to get everything done, when we wish for more time, we don’t actually need more time. We need more stillness.” —Christine Carter One of the scariest things to do, when we feel stressed, is to stop. To put down what we’re doing, and to cease our productivity. Only sometimes, what we need more than anything, seems to be the most counterintuitive: We need to take a break. Unfortunately, last week, I was reminded of this truth in one of the most inconvenient—yet effective ways: I pulled my [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-10-08T00:06:06+00:00October 8th, 2020|Categories: Balance, Habit Making, Health, Lead, Learn, Love, Love Learn Lead, Mental Health, Practice, Self Care|Comments Off

Why It’s Important to Make Time for “Us” —Even In the Time of Covid

This past weekend, Tony and I took a trip with our closest friends to the Finger Lakes in New York. There we had “socially distanced” wine tastings. We hiked the gorge in Watkins Glen with our masks on. And we ate almost all of our meals at the little cottage we rented. Proving that traveling in the time of COVID is challenging, but not impossible. If someone was to ask me and Tony what makes our marriage not only work, but also thrive, we’d probably tell them two things. In seasons like these, travel can often feel like a luxury. [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-09-23T21:05:08+00:00September 24th, 2020|Categories: Adulting, Balance, Habit Making, Health, Lead, Learn, Love, Love Learn Lead, Marriage, Mental Health, Relationships, Travel|Comments Off

Sometimes, Gratitude Isn’t Enough

Simon Biles, The Lies We Believe About Rest, & An Announcement

Five Routines Worth Revisiting This Season

When Self Care Isn’t Enough

What I’m Returning to in 2021

Don’t Forget To Be Still

Why It’s Important to Make Time for “Us” —Even In the Time of Covid

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