Adulting – Page 2 – Melissa Schlies

On Turning Forty, Making Bucket Lists, & Redefining What Matters

Do not resent growing old, many are denied the privilege —Irish Proverb When you were eighteen, who did you think you’d be at the age you are now? Looking back at myself at that time, I could see who I’d be in college. I could see myself at twenty-five. But I couldn’t see beyond that. I certainly couldn’t see myself today. I had this I idea that I should create a 40 Before 40 Bucket List. This week, I’m getting ready for my second pandemic birthday, and it’s a big one. I’m turning forty. And at some point a few [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-03-19T23:53:25+00:00March 22nd, 2021|Categories: Acceptance, Adulting, gratitude, Hope, Travel|2 Comments

When Self Care Isn’t Enough

I used to think being strong meant nothing bothered you. Like Wonder Woman, you were able to deflect all that tried to bring you down. Or similar to body builders who keep telling their spotters to add more weights to their barbells, people could continue to place their burdens on your shoulders and you’d never break a sweat. For years, I tried to be this person. To carry responsibilities that weren’t mine when others were struggling. To hold the grief, heartache, or pain of those I cared about. To keep the world from falling a part (as if I could). [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-03-14T15:00:15+00:00March 15th, 2021|Categories: Adulting, Depression, grief, Health, Hope, Mental Health, Self Care|Comments Off

A Single Person’s Bucket List (repost)

With it being Valentine's Day on Sunday, I thought I'd re-share one of my most popular posts from 2020 all on singleness. Though the pandemic has changed the way one may go about writing/fulfilling their bucket list, I would say it is more important now more than ever. When I was in college, a relationship expert came to speak at our Chapel* one day. As the historical joke/motto for our school was to expect a “ring by spring” if you were dating someone, it seemed fitting. Though I went to college for my education (and maybe, to meet a boyfriend), many [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-02-09T15:54:44+00:00February 11th, 2021|Categories: Acceptance, Adulting, Courage, Faith, Habit Making, Hope, Lead, Learn, Love, Love Learn Lead, Waiting|Tags: Singleness|Comments Off

No One Prepared Us for Married Life in a Pandemic

"You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without.” — P.S. I Love You For longer than any of us have been alive, there have been movies about love. For centuries before that, there were plays. Acted out stories that have made us think and even dream about romance. Ones that have shaped the way we view relationships and marriage. Only, None of them prepared us for marriage in a pandemic. For almost eleven months, Tony and I have been working from home together. Not only that, but we’ve moved into our first [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-02-06T21:19:35+00:00February 8th, 2021|Categories: Adulting, Change, Conflict, Health, Hope, Marriage, perseverance, Relationships, Social Distancing|2 Comments

Scary Movies, Scary Times, & Taking Care of Yourself

When I was a youth pastor, many of my students liked horror movies. In between church services or during our after school program, they’d tell me about the latest film they’d seen. Then, I’d ask them why they liked it, and they couldn’t always say. But they did tell me, they liked the rush it gave them of being afraid. Now, what I usually didn’t tell my students was that: I hate scary movies. For me, stories—whether in books or movies—often live on in my brain for a while after I read or see them. The characters find me in [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-11-01T22:14:04+00:00November 2nd, 2020|Categories: Adulting, Anxiety, Balance, Declutter Your Mind, Fear, Health, Self Care|Comments Off

Why It’s Important to Make Time for “Us” —Even In the Time of Covid

This past weekend, Tony and I took a trip with our closest friends to the Finger Lakes in New York. There we had “socially distanced” wine tastings. We hiked the gorge in Watkins Glen with our masks on. And we ate almost all of our meals at the little cottage we rented. Proving that traveling in the time of COVID is challenging, but not impossible. If someone was to ask me and Tony what makes our marriage not only work, but also thrive, we’d probably tell them two things. In seasons like these, travel can often feel like a luxury. [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-09-23T21:05:08+00:00September 24th, 2020|Categories: Adulting, Balance, Habit Making, Health, Lead, Learn, Love, Love Learn Lead, Marriage, Mental Health, Relationships, Travel|Comments Off

Why Sleep Matters More Than We Think & How To Get More Of It

A few years ago, I was listening to photographer, Chase Jarvis, interview Ariana Huffington about her book, The Sleep Revolution. She began by detailing why sleep became such an important and personal crusade for her. She said it all started when she, herself, had a physical and emotional breakdown after consistently not getting enough sleep. And she spoke these words, that I haven’t been able to get out of my head: “Right now, we take better care of our smart phones than we do of ourselves. Like I bet everyone…right now knows how much battery remains on their smart phones—if [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-08-26T19:13:41+00:00August 27th, 2020|Categories: Adulting, Balance, Depression, Habit Making, Health, Lead, Learn, Love, Love Learn Lead, Mental Health, Routines, Self Care|Comments Off

How to Create Time When There Seems Like There is None

When I left my full-time job in youth ministry, suddenly, I didn’t have to be anywhere. I had so much free time. No one was expecting me to be showered, dressed, and ready to go by nine in the morning. Or by eleven in the morning for that matter. Needless to say, I discovered quite quickly, I needed a routine. Until I found my next career, I needed a place to be. Or at least, I needed a purpose to fulfill each day, beyond doing laundry or grocery shopping. For some part of each week, I wanted to do something [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-08-23T21:29:38+00:00August 24th, 2020|Categories: Adulting, Anxiety, Balance, Habit Making, Health, Routines|Comments Off

Nine Signs Your Routine Is Off

Before I experience it anywhere else, I feel it in my chest. I wake up in the morning to an anxious tightening in my lungs that makes it hard to breathe. And it’s as if my body knows before my brain does that I am overwhelmed. I can’t see the forest for the trees. I know I have a lot to do. Only, I can’t figure out what to focus on or accomplish first. I may not even know what day it is. For me, these experiences and feelings are my first clues that my routine is off. That my [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-08-12T20:49:26+00:00August 13th, 2020|Categories: Adulting, Anxiety, Balance, Change, Habit Making, Health, Hope, Lead, Learn, Love, Love Learn Lead, Making Decisions, Practice, Routines|Comments Off

Sometimes, Change Isn’t the Problem

Sometimes, change isn’t our problem. I know it feels like a weird time to say this, as change is all many of us have experienced this year. Not only that, but many of the changes that have come our way, haven’t been good. The difficult part of change, isn’t always the change itself. Only the difficult part of change, isn’t always the change itself. Rather, it’s the many minuscule reactionary changes that it sets off in its wake. I’ve been feeling this especially since our move last month. As I shared two weeks ago, after eight years of trying to [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-08-08T23:28:06+00:00August 10th, 2020|Categories: Adulting, Anxiety, Change, Habit Making, Health, Practice, Routines|Comments Off

On Turning Forty, Making Bucket Lists, & Redefining What Matters

When Self Care Isn’t Enough

A Single Person’s Bucket List (repost)

Scary Movies, Scary Times, & Taking Care of Yourself

Why It’s Important to Make Time for “Us” —Even In the Time of Covid

Why Sleep Matters More Than We Think & How To Get More Of It

How to Create Time When There Seems Like There is None

Nine Signs Your Routine Is Off

Sometimes, Change Isn’t the Problem

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