In a season in our marriage where life felt like it was closing in, Tony and I decided to take up tennis. He pulled his old racquet out of the closet. We picked up a pink handled one for me at the local sporting goods store. We bought a few canisters of tennis balls, then off we went to the local park.

When he sent the ball back my way, I hit it and we both watched as it went flying up into the air, and over the large chainlink fence that surrounded the court.

It was either late spring or early fall, which means the weather in central Pennsylvania was perfect. The tennis courts were mostly empty. And though I wasn’t wearing a cute sporty outfit, I was ready to play. Tony served the first ball and I returned, feeling good about my swing. 

Only when he sent the ball back my way, I hit it and we both watched as it went flying up into the air, and over the large chainlink fence that surrounded the court. Not only did I lose a point, but suddenly I also had to go for a short walk to retrieve my ball. If Tony had known that this was a sign of things to come, he may have suggested another activity. 

All day I kept hitting the ball out of the park, only in tennis, that isn’t a good thing.

All day I kept hitting the ball out of the park, only in tennis, that isn’t a good thing. I proved I could hit the ball with strength, but I had no control or skill over where to send it with my racquet. Needless to say, we went for a lot of walks to retrieve the ball that day.

Ever the patient husband, Tony gave me a few more chances at tennis. We played a couple more times that season—and we chased a lot more balls. Funny thing is, it’s been a few years since he’s suggested we play again.

Some activities aren’t made for every marriage. Either one or both spouses aren’t suited for it, and that is ok. It’s the same with routines. Each couple has to decide what works best for them to do together, and what is best done individually.

All that said, building routines with your spouse has important benefits (here’s five). So much so that it’s worth experimenting and exploring routines that will draw you closer and strengthen your marriage. Though tennis didn’t become “our thing,” Tony and I have built, kept, and changed a number of routines over the years that have grown us together in some amazing ways.

It’s worth experimenting and exploring routines that will draw you closer and strengthen your marriage.

Today, I want to share three routines that are so simple. You may not even consider them routines. But even trying one of them and making it a part of your regular rhythm in your marriage, will strengthen the foundation of your relationship. A foundation you want to stand the test of time. Share these with your spouse, and consider trying one of them together this season.

Take Walks

Provided it’s not too hot or humid, summer time is a perfect season for making walking with your spouse a routine. The days are longer, and most days the weather is better. Studies show being outside is good for our mental and emotional wellbeing. Some conversations are best had walking side by side instead of face to face. And getting out with your spouse for a walk, takes you away from the stress of home, making it easier to connect with each other.

Have a Happy Hour 

Plan a morning or night each week to spend an hour with your spouse. Share a pot of coffee on a Saturday morning, or a cocktail or mock-tail one evening after work. Sometimes the best conversations are had when you slow down, and make time to simply “be” together.

Pray

Praying together is one of our longest lasting routines as a couple. It has connected us to both God and each other in so many powerful ways. For example by meeting a few times a week to  share our struggles and pray for each other, we’re more in touch with what is causing one another stress. This helps us pray for each other as we go about our day, as well as show up for each other in good and hard times.

What routines do you share with your spouse?

Have you ever created a routine intentionally together?

If you want more help in finding your rhythm when it comes to routines–or just a friend for this crazy journey called life–sign up for my email list today and receive two extra posts and other fun resources in your inbox every month! Sign up here and also receive my free resource on creating space in our lives for what is most important.

 

Photo by Cristina Anne Costello on Unsplash