A Year Later: Five Things I Wish I’d Known Pre-Pandemic

A year ago this week, I drove a half hour north to meet a friend at Barnes and Nobles. When I got there, I pulled into a parking spot just as my phone “dinged.” I had a text. I put the car in park, turned off the engine, then grabbed my phone. Tony’s name showed up in a little grey box on my screen. I clicked on it, and there it was:

The first sign our lives were going to change because of COVID.

In his text, Tony told me that as of the following week, all the offices where he works were closing down. Anyone who could work from home was being asked to gather whatever they needed to do their jobs offsite for at least the next month. They also said, they might be working from home for up to three months. Now, a year later, we know better.

Tony told me that as of the following week, all the offices where he works were closing down.

A few days went by, and we got another text. Our friends were still holding a birthday party for their son that afternoon. They’d love for us to come, but understood if we didn’t feel comfortable. “No, we’re coming, “ We replied.

The pandemic still didn’t feel real.

We went to the party. We saw our friends and their family. Everything was normal. Except, when we said hello and goodbye, there was this weird pause. Do we hug? We knew nothing about this new virus, how it was spread, or that soon we’d be wearing masks everywhere we went.

When we said hello and goodbye, there was this weird pause. Do we hug?

Friends, we have lived a whole year through the first (hopefully, only) pandemic of our lifetime. In so many ways, the world looks different from how it did just 365 days ago. But we have not only survived, we have also learned new ways of living, being, and relating. Some of us have come through—or are living through—our “worst case scenarios,” and we’re still here. Proving we’re more resilient than we knew.

All the same, when things began to look dark a year ago, I wish I had known:

Life would continue.

Soon after Tony came home to work, it felt as if the world came to a screeching halt. With the exception of long lines at the grocery store, almost everywhere else felt like a ghost town. And like many, we thought all our plans would have to change. Only, two months later, we found and bought our house. Online, we watched as friends and acquaintances graduated, got engaged, and even went ahead with their weddings. In other words, even a pandemic can’t stop all the living we still have to do.

Moments with loved ones would feel more precious.

Because we’ve been so cautious with social distancing at home, we were able to take a few trips to see family this past year. We got take out Thai food with my Nana, watched the sunrise with my parents, and drove out to Wisconsin to see Tony’s family. And each memory we made felt more heightened because the pandemic has made us realized how valuable time with our loved ones really is.

Self care would look different.

For as long as I can remember, reading has been one of the main ways I recharge. Then for the past few years, podcasts have filled a similar need. Only once the pandemic started, my brain felt too full to read or listen. It was as if I was using up too much mental energy trying to wrap my mind around all that was happening—that there was none left for anything else. It taught me that in seasons like these, when our usual self care practices no longer work, it is necessary to seek out others.

Getting outside would be one of the greatest gifts.

Within a week or two of Tony working from home—and us not going anywhere or seeing anyone—we started going for a walk almost every day. As soon as we finished work, we drove up to a local park and hiked until dark. Now that we’re living in a new city, we walk around town (even in the cold winter). Being outside, feeling the sun on our faces, and breathing the fresh air has become a necessity for us during this time. And, it is also a form of self care that I had underestimated before this season.

This would be our hardest married year yet, but it would also draw us closer.

I share more about this in this blog post. But it’s amazing how when we choose to lean into the hard things with each other, our love grows. Our appreciation for one another multiplies. By continuing to choose Jesus and “us,” our marriage strengthens.