Have you ever wanted something so badly, but it didn’t come? Have you ever prayed a prayer that rose from so deep in your soul, it felt as if your whole body prayed it? 

And then, God was silent.

Or worse the door you were sure He was going to open wide, seemed to slam in your face. Without warning or a reason you could see, you were sent reeling. Like asking your best friend to be there for a big life moment, you asked God to be there for you, and He didn’t show up. It almost feels like He purposely didn’t come. And it’s hard to tell which is worse: not getting what you wanted, or feeling abandoned by God.

In these situations, it is tempting to say forget you, God (maybe even something not so PG). It feels like the story is over. God has decided not to give us the thing that feels the most important to us—the relationship, job, dream house, baby, etc.—and that’s it. Game over. He doesn’t love us. 

God doesn’t care.

So we’re left with a choice: we can abandon God the way we feel He has abandoned us. Or, we can stick around. Pick up the pieces. And bravely ask Him, “Why?” 

As I have shared this month, I know what it is like to pray and work for something and still get no for an answer. Or even feel as if God’s deafening silence on an issue means He is saying no. There have been times I’ve prayed for friendships then continued to feel isolated. Times when I felt He called me to ministry, only to have doors to opportunities close because I am a woman. And times when I was so sure a guy I dated was perfect for me, only for God to tell me in a variety of ways, he wasn’t. 

Times, when I could have believed God wasn’t on my side.

But I stuck around. Or at least, I came around after working my way through the disappointment. I didn’t abandon God or my faith, and you know what? Like staying to watch the end of a movie that has gone from bad to worse, I’ve discovered that with every no, God wasn’t abandoning me at all. 

We’re left with a choice: we can abandon God the way we feel He has abandoned us. Or, we can stick around. Pick up the pieces. And bravely ask Him, “Why?”

The clearest example from my life that I can share, was my journey through singleness. As I said before, I experienced a lot of no’s in my dating life. Sometimes it was that the guy wasn’t interested. Other’s, that the guy I hoped would be my prince turned out to be more frog. And still others, when it felt like it should have worked. Only as I prayed, I felt a very strong NO  from God, in my heart. 

For years, throughout college and my twenties, I prayed many times for a good and healthy relationship. But the door always seemed to close. 

Then, I met Tony.

Wouldn’t it be great if my story ended that way? Only, when Tony and I met, I still wasn’t ready for the relationship I was longing for. Because I was interested in Tony, I remember praying for an opportunity to get to know him better. Then one night, when I went to say hi to him at a church program, I felt God whisper, 

“Not yet.”

After hearing so many “no’s,” I thought God was telling me Tony wasn’t the guy either. So I backed off. Then, for two years God took me through a journey of healing parts of me I didn’t even know could be healed. I became a healthier and more whole person. All of God’s “no’s” and His one “not yet,” enabled me to receive the gift of becoming a better me. And, of discovering how incredible God’s love is for me (for all of us). 

In the second year after God’s “not yet,” one my friends married one of Tony’s friends. Then they spent their spare time trying to set us up. But it wasn’t until God had done the work He wanted to do in both of us, that our relationship began. And once it began, there was no question that Tony was the “yes,” I was waiting for.

Whether we’re praying desperately for healing or passionately for a dream, God is listening. Though the way He answers is often unexpected, hard to understand, and not on our timeline at all, we can be sure that it is for our best. That every answer is coming from a place of love. Only I wouldn’t have discovered this, if I hadn’t stuck around after all the “no’s.” If I hadn’t stuck around long enough to see the “yeses” He had for me instead.

Where do you feel God has told you no?

Where do you need to stick around, and wait for His yes?

 

Are you in the midst of making a hard decision? Contemplating a big life change? If so, you may be interested in my FREE Making Changes Checklist that I give to all my email friends. Want your free copy?  subscribe here.