When I was nineteen, I took sixteen teenagers for a four day camping retreat up in the mountains of New Hampshire. To be clear, there were other adults on the trip, but I was in charge. How a church and all these kids’ parents were ok with it, I will never know. Yet, the whole trip proved to be life-defining for me. 

Ironically, even as a church trusted me with the majority of its youth group, at that time I was still doubting my call to ministry. I had been told by some pretty influential people in my life that as a woman, God wouldn’t call me to be a pastor. And though there I was in New Hampshire, doing ministry, I believed them. 

Then, one morning on the trip, after breakfast, we got into a conversation about what we were going to be someday. And off the cuff, I said, 

“I have no idea what I am going to be.”

To which, one of our older students said matter of factly, “Yes you do, Melissa. You’re going to be a Youth Pastor.” 

Sometimes, we need others to remind us of who we are. Sometimes, the dreams and desires in our hearts feel too good to be true. So we believe the doubters and the haters, rather than those who know us best. And we begin to weave a path away from what we’re truly meant to do or be, until finally,

We lose ourselves. 

It’s not like losing our car keys. Or even our phone, though these days, the feeling may seem similar. Yet strangely, I think we have the ability to lose ourselves much more easily than we do things. In our culture, in our world, in our jobs, and even in our families, we can forget who we are. We can forget what we’re good at, or even what we like, all because of the words of a few.

Without someone or something to remind us of who we are, we can go on for years this way. Only that is not to say we don’t feel the consequences. Our unrealized dreams and callings, leave us with an inward ache that becomes discontentment, which often can lead to depression. Figuring out who we are and what we’re meant to do, is an important piece in our well being. 

Along my journey, after being reminded by my student of what I was supposed to do, there were other experiences and voices that affirmed my calling. Then, later, when my calling shifted away from church ministry, there were needed voices that spoke into that journey. All of this has taught me the importance of truly listening to our hearts, our people, and even our circumstances to finding the path that is meant for each of us. 

Through all of these, God has given us what we need to find our way. For so many of us, it is simply a matter of paying attention, and then praying for the courage to move forward with what we’ve found. However, many of us don’t even know where to begin. 

Figuring out who we are and what we’re meant to do, is an important piece in our well being.

Since leaving church ministry, I have had the opportunity to not only better understand my own calling, but walk alongside others as they figure out their purpose and direction in life. Through mentoring and coaching these amazing people, I have found that there are some important things to think through in this process. 

So, I have created a program to help others discover and refine their understanding of who they are, what their life purpose is, and how these two things can inform their career path. And I have created it with you in mind. 

If you need to be reminded of who you are, you’re searching for clarity regarding your purpose, you need to make a career change, or some combination of all three, please check out my Identity, Calling, and Career module on my coaching page. And sign up for a free Get to Know You Session, to find out if this program is right for you. 

When was the last time someone reminded you of your worth?

When was the last time you were told you are good at something? 

 

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