“Never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. Comparison is poison.”
—Jon Acuff, Start
Every now and then, I wonder what success was like before the internet. As it began to really take off as I was getting out of school, and starting my first career, its hard for me to remember a time when famous people weren’t just on TV or in magazines. It’s hard to remember when success didn’t look like going viral or blowing up our social media feeds.
The internet has culturally changed our definition of success. But it has also muddled our view of what it takes to succeed. And, it almost caused me to quit writing five years ago.
A little over five and a half years ago, I started my first blog. I created a free WordPress site, decided on the theme I would write about, and committed to posting three times a week. And at first, it went well. Before I knew it, I had fifty followers. A few of the bloggers I followed on twitter followed me back. I was chosen to be a part of a book launch team, to share on my blog about another writer’s book. And when I did, in one day, I received over two thousand views on my blog. I was getting somewhere (or so I thought).
A few months later, and just six months in, I noticed my audience wasn’t growing. I looked at other blogs I followed, and realized my blog layout wasn’t appealing or user-friendly. Then worse than all of this, I felt as if I had run out of things to write. Posting on my blog became difficult. And every time I did, I felt like I was in my junior high cafeteria all over again, wishing for someone to notice me and invite me to sit with them. It was awful.
So eventually, I gave up. I ghosted my blog and social media sites. And began to wonder if I was right. That I really didn’t have what it takes to be a writer.
A few years went by.
More of the writers I followed, started publishing books. A friend of one of the writers started a podcast, which opened up a whole other world of hearing from other writers, entrepenuaers, and brave people taking chances. And the best part about all of this, was hearing about their beginnings.
One writer talked about having five different blogs before the one she was writing on now. Another shared that she had written nine books, when most people thought she had only written two (because only two of them really sold). And many of the entrepenuaers shared stories of pawning their own jewelry to finance their business, or selling things out of their car to get started.
None of them had gone viral.
At least, not until after they had worked hard for five, and even ten years.
The internet had given me the impression all the other bloggers were making it, when I wasn’t. When the truth was I was comparing my beginning to their middle. I was comparing my six months of blogging to their six years of blogging, and expecting us to have the same results.
So many things are possible today because of technology. But because this is true, it’s easy to assume that success can be effortless, when it can’t be. All success takes time. And, I can tell you, I am still not there.
A few weeks ago, I was feeling like my junior high self all over again, when I came across an interview with a New York Times Best Seller. When asked about her “over-night success,” she smiled. Then went on to explain that she had begun blogging ten and a half years ago. And it took her two years of blogging to even have people she didn’t know, start reading her stuff.
I have only been blogging (my second time around), a little over a year. I have at least another year to go before my audience starts to grow. And possibly ten before I have books published that more than just my husband and best friend will read. Yet slowly, but surely I am learning:
Success takes time.
We all need to start where we are to get to where we want to be. We don’t know how long the journey will take, or if we will ever get exactly where we picture. But I can tell you, I am finding it is better to start than wait. It’s better to be an unknown writer than not do the thing that is inside me to do. And I believe that when we do what we were created to do, the world is better for it.
Where are you comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle?
Or what dream do you need to start now, right where you are?
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Melissa,
What a wonderful post to encourage others not to fall into comparison. However I have been guilty of this of comparing myself life or situations or even circumstances to others middle part of their life because or journey in faith. And let me tell you it didn’t help but only caused me pain an heartache. The one area I need to keep working on is not comparing my singleness Or martial status to someone else’s. But trusting God instead.
Oh Elizabeth, you are not alone–I think we are all guilty at one time or another. But if we work at avoiding comparison, we all will be better for it. And as someone who was single for a long time, I pray God gives you perseverance for the journey. Waiting for His best is not easy, but I can tell you, SO worth it!
“I am finding it is better to start than wait. It’s better to be an unknown writer than not do the thing that is inside me to do. And I believe that when we do what we were created to do, the world is better for it.”
Yes to this! Thank you so much for sharing your heart and the hard wait in the middle of it all. I know this place well. I am encouraged.
SO glad you are encouraged Megan. Keep doing what you’re doing, what you’re made to do!
So understand this!! I’ve had three blogs before this one I’m on. And it’s been difficult to not quit sometimes, especially when I get rejection letters from other places. I have to remember that people don’t call me, they don’t validate me… God does. He is the one who called me by the grace of Jesus Christ.
“they don’t validate me”–YES! So crucial to remember especially on the hard days!
The idea of success is daunting and overwhelming at time, but the encouragement to keep at it and let God do the rest was a needed one today (and also happened to coincide just lovely with my morning devotional), thanks for sharing!
So glad this was encouraging–it’s definitely a message I have to remind myself of on the hard days!
Love this post and so appreciate this perspective!!!
Thanks for sharing this important encouragement! I have to combat the comparison trap over and over. Keep writing!
Thanks Lindsay! You too–keep writing!
As a blogger maybe three years in, this is really encouraging to me. It’s slow growth, but I know I have to keep working at it little by little!
Right there with you, Heather!