If you’ve ever been rear-ended in a car accident, chances are your neck was forced in one direction, and then quickly pulled back toward the other. This is known as whiplash. The term is defined as, “An abrupt snapping motion or change of direction resembling the lash of a whip,” (hence the name). Often it refers to this injury one incurs after a car accident. But after this past year, it also feels appropriate to life both in, and after, a pandemic.

One year ago, our whole lives changed on a dime. 

Now, they’re changing again.

Those of us who found ourselves working from home, are now beginning to return to the office. And for many of us who never left our work place, and had to adjust to a slew of new safety protocols, we’re now trying to figure out what procedures to keep and what ones to let go.

The pandemic changed our routines. Some regarding how we do our jobs. But many, impacted how we live our lives. 

One woman told me recently, during the pandemic she’d started to do her laundry on Wednesdays, but now she has to do it on Sunday’s again. Tony (and quite a few friends of ours) got used to life without a commute. But now, as we moved last year, Tony is returning to work with a commute that is more than double what it was pre-pandemic.

Though some of us may be able to return to the routines we followed over a year ago, many of us will be starting over.

The rhythm of how and when we do things now needs to be different. Meal planning, doing laundry, cleaning the house, exercising, and even sleeping, may have to occur at new times. Though some of us may be able to return to the routines we followed over a year ago, many of us will be starting over. 

That brings us to our second step of Creating Routines as a Couple*: Reevaluate. We need to revisit both the routines we’ve had over the past year, as well as those pre-pandemic. Looking honestly at our weekly schedules, we must name what is working, and what isn’t. And if something is working for our spouse, but not for us—we need to speak up. If the opposite is true, we need to listen.

One of my least favorite things in life is change. Change is hard for all of us. And in marriage, we have to figure out how to navigate these difficult transitions with our partners. As I shared two weeks ago, it starts with naming what’s most important to you both. But this second step is equally important.

If something is working for our spouse, but not for us—we need to speak up. If the opposite is true, we need to listen.

Reevaluating the routines and practices in your life together, will help you and your spouse isolate what you need to focus on most at the beginning of this change. For example, if your usual meal planning routine is both helpful and fits into your new rhythm of returning to work, it can stay the same. If however, you both have been exercising first thing every morning, but now that time will be eaten up with a commute—creating a new workout routine is necessary. It may mean changing the time, or even working out separately if your schedules don’t align. 

Taking the time to reevaluate your routines together, will enable you both to let go of what won’t serve you this season, and move toward creating and maintaining practices that will. Of course, it doesn’t mean there won’t be tension as you try to reshape your life together. There may be some sacrifices you each have to make for one another this season. But having this conversation now, at the beginning of change, will help you ease into this transition together.

This week, when can you and your spouse sit down to look at your current schedule and weekly routines?

Set a date, bring your planners/calendar apps, and have an honest conversation about what practices are working, and what needs to change.

*These steps are also applicable for those of us living the single life. Though I am discussing what this process looks like with a partner, if you’re living alone it doesn’t mean you have to create your routines all on your own. Reevaluate your routines, then meet up with a friend or mentor who can help you creatively shape the practices that will serve your health, well-being, and work this season.

If you want more help in finding your rhythm when it comes to routines–or just a friend for this crazy journey called life–sign up for my email list today and receive two extra posts and other fun resources in your inbox every month! Sign up here and also receive my free resource on creating space in our lives for what is most important.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash