This Season, Be An Amateur
"When did we stop doing things just for fun?” —Annie F. Downs For my birthday last week, Tony and I made pizza for our stay-at-home celebration. As I shared a few weeks ago, I’ve been learning how to make sourdough bread, and pizza felt like the next step. I made the crust from my sourdough starter. I followed the directions so carefully. And still for most of the process, I felt like I was holding my breath. Trying new things feels scary. I am still so new at working with fermented yeast, that I always have this little touch of [...]
On Turning Forty, Making Bucket Lists, & Redefining What Matters
Do not resent growing old, many are denied the privilege —Irish Proverb When you were eighteen, who did you think you’d be at the age you are now? Looking back at myself at that time, I could see who I’d be in college. I could see myself at twenty-five. But I couldn’t see beyond that. I certainly couldn’t see myself today. I had this I idea that I should create a 40 Before 40 Bucket List. This week, I’m getting ready for my second pandemic birthday, and it’s a big one. I’m turning forty. And at some point a few [...]
When Self Care Isn’t Enough
I used to think being strong meant nothing bothered you. Like Wonder Woman, you were able to deflect all that tried to bring you down. Or similar to body builders who keep telling their spotters to add more weights to their barbells, people could continue to place their burdens on your shoulders and you’d never break a sweat. For years, I tried to be this person. To carry responsibilities that weren’t mine when others were struggling. To hold the grief, heartache, or pain of those I cared about. To keep the world from falling a part (as if I could). [...]
A Year Later: Five Things I Wish I’d Known Pre-Pandemic
A year ago this week, I drove a half hour north to meet a friend at Barnes and Nobles. When I got there, I pulled into a parking spot just as my phone “dinged.” I had a text. I put the car in park, turned off the engine, then grabbed my phone. Tony’s name showed up in a little grey box on my screen. I clicked on it, and there it was: The first sign our lives were going to change because of COVID. In his text, Tony told me that as of the following week, all the offices where [...]
When the Rules Are Still Unknown
Last week, I shared that this season I am making sourdough bread. What I didn’t tell you though is on my first try at making my starter, I failed. I’m pretty sure I killed all the yeast I’d brought to life. What I didn’t tell you though is on my first try...I failed. After making bread so many times, and reading up on the sourdough process from two different cookbooks, I went into this endeavor rather confident. Only when I finally made my starter, I didn’t read far enough to realize how important it is that your water is warm—but [...]
What Sourdough Bread is Teaching Me About Growth and Loss
This past December, as I stared down the social distancing winter we’re all in the middle of, I knew I had to take up a hobby. Sure, we still have a house that’s not fully decorated or furnished, but I needed a creative outlet where I could just play. Something with very little risk, and very little cost. So at the beginning of January, I started cultivating my first sourdough starter. I know it was very spring 2020 of me. But while everyone else was making bread during the first phase of the pandemic, we were buying our house. Now [...]
