When You Feel Stuck & Change Feels Impossible
As we've all been in a time of great change this season, this month all the posts here will be about change in some form. Today, I am re-sharing a post from a few years ago about when there was a change I needed to make that felt impossible. I hope it gives you hope for any changes you are longing to make. Six years ago, on a hot, sunny Saturday over Labor Day weekend, I stood at the top of a waterfall. I stared at the cool pool of water collecting just before spilling over the edge, and debated [...]
Five Reasons Not To Ignore Self Care During Times of Change
There are two kinds of change in this world: The change we long for and the change that finds us. Before 2020, the timing of these changes were typically different for each of us. For me, I got married after a lot of my friends but before all of my sisters. And when my first career was ending, some of my friends’ jobs were just taking off. But then COVID hit, and change found us all. Our world came to a stand still, and our lives changed in ways we are still discovering. Collectively we’ve all experienced trauma, while individually [...]
Change Isn’t Pretty: Why We Don’t (Always) Have to Despair When We Watch The News
More times than I can count, someone close to me has said the following: “Melissa, you hate change.” In some situations, it’s been said like an accusation that stung. In others, there was a tone of compassion. And always, it was in response to me lamenting about a situation in my life I had no control over. A situation in my life that meant: Change was happening whether I liked it or not. Over the past month or so, there have been anti-racism marches in countless cities and towns across the US. And though they mostly consisted of peaceful protesters, [...]
This Week, We Turn Ten
Ten years ago, this week, we said, “We do.” In other words, “We’re in.” For the adventure, the joy, and the highs of accomplishments earned. For the experiences we never thought we’d have, made better by enjoying them together. Only, that is not all. We also said, “We’re in” for the mundane. The days that string together as boring as iceberg lettuce lined up at the grocery store. “We’re in” for the dark days of struggle and loss. And “we’re in” for traversing the breathtaking lows we didn’t see coming. We’re in this thing called life, together. Ten years ago, [...]
When Pandemic Grief Hits You All Over Again
A few weeks ago, my sister texted me reminding me that as a family, that day, we were supposed to all be together, on vacation. Only, a few weeks before that, I had to cancel our reservations because the shelter in place orders for where we were to stay would still be in effect for our trip. Sure, we could stay in our hotel, but there would be no pool, no restaurant, and many of the attractions we were planning to visit would still be closed. You can’t tell four kiddos under five that the pool is closed. You can’t [...]
5 Tips to Planning The Perfect Day Trip
“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” ― Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now As with so many things Maya Angelou said, her words about [...]
