Every year, the United Nations publishes a World Happiness Report. For many years now, Denmark has been at the top of that list. And I remember, a number of years ago, an article came out saying that Denmark is the happiest place to live, because Danes have lower expectations for their lives.
This claim that expecting less so you’re pleasantly surprised with what you get, has since been refuted. It is now said, Danes expect free healthcare, free education, longer maternity/paternity leave, and in general have a better work life balance. Which lately has me wondering—is it possible that they don’t have lower expectations, but better ones?
Don’t worry, this is not a post about politics or socialism, but rather one about how we define happiness here in the US. We’ve just wrapped up our first month in 2021. If we instituted some healthy changes or New Year’s resolutions this season, this is the point where things begin to become challenging. When we wonder how long we can sustain these new practices. And I think it’s a good time to ask,
What do we really want from the changes we made for this year?
Last week, I came across an advertisement for a New Year’s coaching program by a well-known online influencer. And as a part of the ad, it promised “Live Your Best Year.” And I thought,
“Really? In the middle of the Pandemic, we’re going to worry about ‘living our best year?’”
Now, I am sure there are probably some good principles in that coaching program. But, why do we have to put such high expectations on ourselves? On our lives?
What if the reason we live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, and yet we’re only ranked number eighteen on the Happiness List, is because we set the bar so high? That we’re always looking “out there” at what other people have or are doing, that we can’t see the good right in front of us. That we don’t value our own lives enough.
What if the reason we live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, and yet we’re only ranked number eighteen on the Happiness List, is because we set the bar so high?
When I discovered Finland has now superseded Denmark in being the happiest country, I went looking for articles that would explain why. And in this article from Afar, it said, “Finns are generally not as eager to put forward a polished view of their life on social media and to brag about success and wealth.”
One thing I’ve struggled with since the beginning of the pandemic, is that with all our social distancing, it’s easier to get lost down the rabbit hole of Instagram. And down that hole, is a lot of beautiful images that only tell a fraction of what real life is supposed to be. The longer we scroll, the more discontent with our lives we become. Because it makes us believe that other people are “living their best life”—when we are all truly just doing our best.
Friends, we don’t need to live our best year, we need to live the best we can in the midst of this hard season.
As we begin to re-evaluate our New Year’s goals, and become tempted to give them up all together, it’s a good time to name our expectations. To figure out what “wins” we truly need this year—whether they are Instagram worthy or not. Friends, we don’t need to live our best year, we need to live the best we can in the midst of this hard season.
Where do you feel the pressure to reach an impossible standard with your life?
Do you know, you (and your life) are more than enough?
Wishing you had started 2021 with more focus, but feeling like it’s too late to make any changes? It’s not! Sign up for my email list and get my FREE Start Here 2021—a guide to help you find focus and strength for the New Year.
