When I was a kid, the place I most wanted to be in the summer was the beach. As we were fortunate to live close to one, it was where my mom took me and my sisters almost daily. After all, there are endless activities to entertain four girls at the beach. There are sandcastles to build, sea shells to find, and waves to chase. Only, that last one didn’t always go as we planned.
I remember my sisters and I running into the ice cold, foaming salt water just far enough so we could ride the waves into shore.
Living so close to the ocean, we learned that the day after a big storm, is when to find the best waves. On such a day, I remember my sisters and I running into the ice cold, foaming salt water just far enough so we could ride the waves into shore. Only often, rather than a wave picking us up and carrying us, it would crash early, splashing right into our faces. Then, every once in a while, one would roll in big enough to completely knock us over. Usually, these ones sent us back to our beach towels for a break, because
No one likes to wipe out.
Now that I’m older, I’m finding that as adults, some waves still have the power to knock us down. Only, they’re usually not made out of salt water, but rather crisis or struggle instead. In a split second these waves of life take out our balance and send us in a direction we weren’t planning on going. They blow our plans to bits. Our regular routines fly out the window. And if you’re a routine oriented person like I am, it’s all very disorienting—at times even, defeating.
In an instant, everything you’ve been working for, feels like it’s vanished.
When I first began working in ministry, I felt this way a lot. Every time I started to find a healthy weekly routine that worked for me, a crisis would happen in a student’s life, or a major change would occur in our programing or staff. All of a sudden, I’d enter survival mode and my life was once again wrapped up in my job. Soon, I began to wonder if I’d ever find any balance at all.
She said that if we were shaking in the pose it was ok. That the shaking was our bodies’ way of strengthening itself to find balance.
But then, in a yoga class I was taking at the time, the instructor said something that put all my dashed routines into perspective. We were in the midst of doing tree pose—literally working on our physical balance—and she said that if we were shaking in the pose it was ok. That the shaking was our bodies’ way of strengthening itself to find balance.
How many of us feel shaky after life has knocked us down?
How many of us feel weak? Each time a crisis in ministry sent my life spinning, I felt like a failure because I couldn’t keep it all together. Only, what I didn’t realize was that in the chaos and unknown—when I chose to keep leaning into the healthy practices I was learning—I became stronger and better able to keep them in times of crisis.
This year, 2020 has been a tidal wave for all of us. COVID has impacted our relationships, jobs, and our plans. For many of us, it obliterated our daily routines back in March, and we’re still feeling a little shaky, getting back up. We’re slowly finding new routines—but we don’t know how long they will last or if they’re even ones we want to hold onto. Some of us, never felt as if we had balance in our lives at all, and 2020 only made things worse.
When I chose to keep leaning into the healthy practices I was learning—I became stronger and better able to keep them in times of crisis.
If any of this resonates with you, let me tell you—you’re not alone. But let me also say that if you’re feeling shaky, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. If you’re trying your hardest to be healthy in the aftermath of this tidal wave, and you’re still struggling—you’re not failing. In fact, though it feels the opposite, you are growing. You are becoming stronger. And you will find your footing again.
According to our culture “balance,” is successfully holding all the parts of our lives together at once. When in yoga, practicing balance is staying up even when you’re shaky, and getting back up if and when you fall. I don’t know about you, but the latter definition seems much more in line with reality. Not only that, but it feels doable.
How has the COVID tidal wave knocked you down?
Where are you still feeling shaky?
Where do you need to give yourself the grace to try again?
Feeling a little adrift in this strange, new normal of being at home? Sign up for my email list and get your free copy of my Social Distancing Survival Guide: Everyday Routines. Sign up here.
Photo by Mourad Saadi on Unsplash
