We had just finished our first tasting at a winery in Sonoma California. The richness of Pino Noir still lingered on my tongue, as Tony and I walked around a little shop adjacent to the tasting room. And as we debated spending more than we wanted to on a bottle of merlot, two tall, blond women walked into the shop with their very well groomed dog. A minute later, two other women came in and one quickly stooped down to pet the dog.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking—but is this Fluffy*?” the woman asked the woman holding the dog’s leash, as she cradled his furry face in her hands.
“Yes,” the women replied, looking rather surprised.
“I follow Fluffy on Instagram.” Suddenly, the dog’s owner smiled in recognition, while the woman continued talking excitedly like she was meeting a movie star or royalty. “I heard your accent—you’re Swedish, right? And I thought what are the odds? This must be Fluffy.”
“Yes, yes it is.” Fluffy’s owner replied, smiling.
As the shop was small, Tony and I gave each other a knowing look, then made our exit. We decided to give Fluffy and her fan their space. We also decided not to buy the merlot, and left the winery. But not before I whispered,
“That dog has more Instagram followers than I do.”
Tony laughed. If a dog from Sweden was getting recognized at a winery in California, I didn’t need to see it’s profile to know the truth of my statement. But as someone who wants to build a platform online to encourage and coach people, it can be discouraging to know a dog has more followers than you.
If a dog from Sweden was getting recognized at a winery in California, I didn’t need to see it’s profile to know it had more followers than I do.
However, I would say with the expanse of our online world, it can be very easy to find people—or pets—who have more “friends” or “followers” than us. What a depressing reality, one that can drive us mad if we’re prone to the C-word:
Comparison.
Comparison can wreak havoc on our minds and our emotions. Worse, it can sneak up on us in our most vulnerable moments. If we’re discouraged in our jobs, it’s hard not to look at other people’s success, and feel jealous or even insecure. If we experience a breakup, it’s hard not to look at the social feeds of couples we know, and compare. To wonder, why their relationship works, when ours didn’t.
This month on the blog, we are talking all about comparison. And as I’ve been preparing to write these posts, I’ve had to ask myself is comparison good for anything? And the answer is—it can be (we’ll talk more about that later this month). Only, comparison is a skill we’ve co-oped to our detriment, in a similar way that anxiety hijacks our imagination. Like any superpower it can be used for good or for evil. But sadly, we often compare in a way that harms us.
Comparison is a skill we’ve co-oped to our detriment, in a similar way that anxiety hijacks our imagination. Like any superpower it can be used for good or for evil. But sadly, we often compare in a way that harms us.
When we walked out of that winery, I could have felt very discouraged being reminded that my social media presence is not where I’d like it to be. But instead, I laughed it off. Then later, I decided to be curios instead of compare. I wondered, what is it about Insta-puppies that people love?
(Yes, I realize some of you out there are saying, “What’s not to love?!”)
But as someone who wants to continue to learn how to better serve you, my friend, I have to ask this question. I have to understand what draws some people to puppy posts over my posts. And when I came to my conclusion, it was very freeing.
We may not always get the likes or attention other people (or dogs) do. But that doesn’t mean what we’re doing, creating, and being isn’t important.
What I offer on my Instagram is very different from what a puppy does. As it should be. In the same way, what each of us put out online or in our real worlds, should be unique to us. Sure, we may not always get the likes or attention other people (or dogs) do. But that doesn’t mean what we’re doing, creating, and being isn’t important.
That insta-puppy may touch more lives that you and I combined, possibly multiplied. But it will never make the impressionable mark that you and I get to make in the lives of those around us. It is easy to feel invisible in a world of likes and follows, but let me tell you, you are not invisible. You matter in a way that no amount of comparison can steal away from you.
More on this to come.
Have you ever met anyone insta-famous?
When was the last time you compared yourself to someone else?
*I honestly don’t remember the dog’s name. So for the purposes of this post, his name is Fluffy. He looked like a Fluffy.
Does the endless scroll and the temptation to compare yourself to others have your mind on overload? If so, sign up for my email list and get your FREE copy of my Five Steps to Declutter Your Mind, to help you find clarity, peace, and freedom on this journey.
