When I was in high school, I had a friend who applied to Harvard. Then she begged me not to tell anyone that she applied. It was a big, audacious dream that was too fragile to share. Best case scenario, if she got in, it would be this wonderful surprise for her to announce. But if she didn’t, she wouldn’t have to face the public embarrassment of not being accepted.
When it comes to pursuing a goal, “What if I don’t get it?” is one of the scariest questions we can ask. Whether we’re applying to a college or to our dream job, it is the worst case scenario. It is the rejection letters we imagine in our heads. It’s the chance that we’ll have to tell our people we didn’t get it. It’s the fear of staying in our current job indefinitely. And it is the very real possibility that what we want most, what we’ve been working for so hard, and what we’ve been planning on for years, won’t ever become reality.
“What if I don’t get it?” is the very real possibility that what we want most, what we’ve been working for so hard, and what we’ve been planning on for years, won’t ever become reality.
“What if I don’t get it?” can be enough to hold us back. It can keep us from taking risks, or from putting ourselves out there. And, if we’ve been rejected or passed over before, it can paralyze us. It can ensure that our dreams will stay dreams, before we even give them a chance. But this is all because we believe one very faulty thing about this scary question:
We believe the answer to “What if I don’t get it?” is bad.
We believe that it is a door slammed in our face, and double bolted shut. Then like in the cartoons, all of a sudden, it disappears. We believe it means failure, from which we can never recover. And in many cases, we believe that if we don’t get “it,” our dream is most definitely over.
Only not getting “it,” is often a part of the journey toward where we most want to be. In fact, if we look at the lives of people we admire, we would discover in many cases it is the rule, not the exception. J. K. Rowling was rejected by twelve different publishers before Harry Potter came to be. Stephen Spielberg was rejected from film school—three times. And Oprah was fired from her TV reporting job because she was told she was “unfit for TV” (source).
Not getting “it,” is often a part of the journey toward where we most want to be.
Contrary to what many of us have grown up believing, rejection doesn’t seal our fate. Though it has the power to change or reroute our course, it doesn’t have to determine our destination. Yes, there are some cases where a door will close and it means we may never go to that school, work for that company, or even, get that specific job. But if we let them, those rejections have the ability to lead us to do, be, and experience even far greater things.
In my twenties, I didn’t get considered for a job I wanted where I worked. Around the same time, Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture started circling the web. In it he said, “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
In other words, the answer to “What if I don’t get it?” is experience. You will get the experience of learning to pick yourself back up. In that process, you will learn you are stronger than you think. Then, you will get to decide where you go from there. Will you try again? Try a different approach? Or try something new entirely?
If we don’t get our dreams or goals in the exact package we’ve been planning on, chances are we will get so much more. We just have to believe that if we don’t get them, we haven’t reached a dead end. That there is still so much ahead of us.
If we don’t get our dreams or goals in the exact package we’ve been planning on, chances are we will get so much more.
Friend, if you are pursing a dream, applying for a school or job, sending in a proposal, etc.—if you are taking a chance, go for it! And know if you don’t get, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of your story.
When have you worried about not getting “it?”
Where has this fear held you back?
Are you in the midst of making a decision? Contemplating a life change? If so, you may be interested in my FREE Making Changes Checklist that I give to all my email friends. Want your free copy? subscribe here.
