When I Thought Discipline Was a Dirty Word

When I was little, and my mother was very young in her faith, she went through what is commonly known in Christian circles as a legalistic phase. In our home, following Jesus became about doing what the Bible said to a “T.” It also meant throwing out anything in our home (including my Barbies), that could be of the devil.

As a kid, I didn’t understand any of it, but as an adult I am beginning to see the rational. People fall into a legalistic phase when their new found relationship with Jesus is so life changing that they begin to be afraid that they will lose it if they make a mistake. So they search for a church, and scour the Bible, to tell them what to do to keep from becoming lost once again. They begin following a bunch of rules in hopes of being made holy.

Sadly, some people stay in this place forever. Either they feel safer playing by the rules, or they are afraid of what will happen if they don’t. Thankfully for me and my family, my mom found grace.

But during that phase, a word we heard a lot in our home was discipline. Whether it was the commonly repeated “spare the rod, spoil the child,” or verses that talk about God disciplining His children, the topic seemed to come up daily. Perhaps it was because I was five or six, and testing out bad words for the first time. Or it could have been that my mom had four kids under the age of ten, so we were bound to need correcting. But, like any kid who does something wrong and gets caught, “discipline” was definitely my least favorite word—that is, until recently.

Like many words, discipline has multiple meanings. It can mean punishment at the hand of an authority, or it can mean training to develop a skill. I always thought it meant the former, and unfortunately missed out on the importance of the latter.

When people would talk about the importance of having discipline with exercise or eating well—I always heard punishment. I never heard training, which caused so many problems for me in becoming healthy. Discipline can mean very different things to the hearer: If I am getting punished it is because I am bad. But if I am being trained, it is because I can become better.

The training type of discipline is about taking the time every day to develop a skill, to grow stronger physically or mentally, and to prioritize something as important. At times it is repetitive, painful and monotonous. But all that work is done with a specific outcome in mind: reaching your fullest potential.

As I shared last week, my husband and I have been on a journey of trying to clear a little headspace. By putting critical structures in place, we are making room in our life for what is most important. As a part of this process, for the past few months, we have been listening to a lot of podcasts. Mostly, we’ve listened to interviews of people we respect and who have gained traction in their areas of expertise. Do you want to know what word keeps coming up?

Discipline.

Internet guru’s, world renowned photographers, successful writers, and leadership experts that we follow—all share that it was when they developed a foundation of discipline in their life, that things really took off for them. For some it has looked like setting specific sleep schedules. For others, it has been taking the time daily for reflection or exercise. Through their disciplines, these leaders have found that they are able to bring their best selves not only to their work, but also to the people they love.

Discipline is not a dirty word, like I used to think. In fact it is a very important word. It’s about discovering and working toward the person you were created to be. It is about finding out all that you have to offer this world. And it is intentionally putting yourself through training so that you can fulfill your calling and purpose successfully. Discipline is about showing up to your life.