Fact or Fiction: You Can Have the Life You Want

A few years ago, I started following some popular online influencers and entrepreneurs. People who not only seemed to crack the code to social media, but who also had upbeat, positive sounding messages for their audience. One thing I heard from them over an over was,

You can have the life you want.

Then interestingly, whenever these same people made their rounds on the podcast circuit, inevitably they’d talk about routines. Specifically, they’d share the few habits they practice everyday that have enabled them to be the best versions of themselves. Some even made it sound as if their success was a direct result of their daily routines. And the tantalizing part of it all was:

Their habits were so simple.

They were doable. Sure, some of them followed a few froufrou practices like waking up to a blue light or drinking a rare type of tea. But most of them shared that they got up an hour earlier than everyone else in their home. They ate a good breakfast every morning. They didn’t look at their phone until after they had worked out or taken the time for prayer and meditation. Essentially, they took care of themselves so they could maintain an intense work schedule. All the while, presenting to us an image online, that they were living perfectly balanced, successful lives. Showing us that,

The Good Life is possible.

But then, the pandemic hit. Many of these people shared online their need to pivot in their businesses because their income was drying up. Some of them announced they were getting divorced. And I am sure, like all of us, their habits and routines got rocked.

Drinking enough water, eating a good breakfast, and working out regularly won’t save us.

Watching these influencers suddenly seem to appear shaky and rough around the edges, reminded me—we’re all human. No matter how successful we become, our lives are fragile. Drinking enough water, eating a good breakfast, and working out regularly won’t save us.

No matter how diligent we may be with our healthy habits and self care practices, our lives can still fall a part. Our loved ones can still get diagnosed with cancer. And our careers can become dead ends in which we need to try and find new paths for us to pursue.

Routines can help us become good and healthy people. But they can’t save us from times when our relationships or even our world breaks.

Contrary to what so many of these online guru’s preached, our routines are not the fool-proof path to the life we want. Sure, they can help us become good and healthy people. But they can’t save us from times when our relationships or even our world breaks. Nor is there a formula to follow that will guarantee we can go through our lives unscathed.

One “anti-influencer” I follow now, Kate Bowler, says, “Life is a chronic condition.” None of us get to live a fairytale, no matter what people show us online. And, if there is any factual truth to The Crown on Netflix, I am guessing that even real live Princes and Princesses would agree.

Life is hard.

Success doesn’t change this fact. Routines definitely can make life easier (that’s why I talk about them so much), but that is all. There is no amount of striving that can fully give us the life we want. The one where everyone is healthy, we have our dream job, and we are all we want to be.

With so many online influencers in our world today, it’s easy to get the message that if we just find the right combination of products, beliefs, and/or routines, everything we want will begin to fall together. It might not. And even if it does, that doesn’t mean hard times won’t come.

Hard and painful lives can still be good lives. In fact the most beautiful people I know have overcome heartaches and challenges they would never have chosen for themselves.

Finally, now that I’ve basically said none of us will ever get our fairytale, I want to leave us on this note: Hard and painful lives can still be good lives. In fact the most beautiful people I know have overcome heartaches and challenges they would never have chosen for themselves.

Though our culture makes it seem that the “winners” are those who appear to be untouched by difficulty, the truth is the strongest, most compassionate people are always those who have known brokenness. They are the ones who decide to keep going, to keep making healthy choices even when everything is falling apart.