One night recently, Tony and I were on our way home from doing—what else—holiday errands. The sky outside was dark. A Christmas carol that is one of our favorites was playing on the radio. And about halfway through the song, Tony said,
“For some reason, this song sounds sad this year.”
It’s amazing how much of our own experiences we bring to music, or any type of art for that matter. But when Tony said these words I had to agree. In years past, this particular song has sounded as triumphant to me as Easter morning. As hopeful as kids running down the stairs to see what is waiting for them under the tree.
Only this year, everything is different.
We’ve all known our world is imperfect and broken. But this season we are aware of it like we’ve never been before. And more of us than not, are away from family. Some for the first time ever. All this has me wondering,
How do we enter into Christmas with so many contradictory emotions?
I don’t know about you, but I wish feelings were neater. By that I mean, I wish they’d take their turn. To not move in all at once and make me feel like a jumbled mess sometimes. I wish our emotions would stay in their own corners. That they’d know what holidays they belong to.
This week, if we’re in the middle of a beautiful moment, and feel sad—the truth is, it’s normal.
Only, we all know they don’t work like that. We don’t work like that. So this week, if we’re in the middle of a beautiful moment, and feel sad—the truth is, it’s normal. It’s probably even to be expected. If a song that usually makes us smile, makes us cry, it’s ok. If we find ourselves laughing and joking in a seemingly inappropriate way to break the tension, it’s probably needed. And if today, you got up and felt overwhelmed and behind on all you have to do for the holiday—well, that is probably normal for many of us, any year.
It’s ok if our feelings this year don’t match up with our experience.
It’s ok if they do. It’s ok if this Christmas is lackluster. If it won’t go down as one of our favorites. If we intentionally skip some traditions we love because it’s too hard to do them without our faraway loved ones. I guess what I am trying to say for both you and me, is
Whatever this week brings, and however we feel about it—it’s ok.
It’s ok to grieve. To feel disappointed. To cry. To rest. To laugh. To play. To be honest with your loved ones if you’re having a hard time. They don’t need you to put on a brave face. They just need you to show up—whether in person, or on a screen.
Between our culture and our own nostalgia, it’s very easy to put a lot of expectations on Christmas, …But this isn’t the year for big expectations.
Between our culture and our own nostalgia, it’s very easy to put a lot of expectations on Christmas, and on ourselves at Christmas. But this isn’t the year for big expectations. It’s the year we need to embrace the Grace that the true meaning of this holiday offers. Let’s show up this week as honestly and lovingly as we can. And, let’s invite others to do the same.
Merry Christmas, Friends.
What expectations have you been feeling going into this week?
What feelings have you been trying not to feel?
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