Last week, Tony and I traveled through the Midwest to see family. For most of our trip, the highways and turnpikes we drove down were lined with big red or white barns and beautiful cornfields. Then, when we headed off those long stretches of road, there were more farms. Only this time, their homes, front yards, and driveways were dotted or emblazoned with red, white and blue—

Political signs.

Big and small plastic rectangles, with the words TRUMP or BIDEN printed in all capitol letters, hung from windows or stuck out of patches of dying grass. As if reminding us that we are in an election season. As if any of us could forget.

Of course, as we were there to see family, we saw people we love, all with varying viewpoints on the political spectrum. Some who shared similar thoughts to ours. Others with opinions that had us reaching for other topics to change the subject. And I was reminded, how difficult it is when people you love spout a viewpoint that makes your blood boil.

It surprises me how angry I can get over all politicians and the lies both sides seem to spew, polarizing our country even more.

First, it surprises me how angry I can get over all politicians and the lies both sides seem to spew, polarizing our country even more. As if voting a certain way on one issue can truly serve all the complex needs a large country has in the midst of a pandemic. And second, I’m sure you’ve felt this too—

It’s jarring when our family members see the world so differently than we do.

For some reason, it is easier to take when it’s the man down the street with the political sign the size of a billboard in his yard. Or the woman in the car in front of us with the politically charged bumper sticker. But when someone you love, out of nowhere, says something that sends you spinning internally—what do you do?

When someone you love, out of nowhere, says something that sends you spinning internally—what do you do?

As our country, and even our family members have become more divided in their viewpoints over the past few years, I’ve thought a lot about this question. I’ve even tried to answer it with a few different approaches. Some haven’t gone so well. Others have left me feeling just as badly as I would have if I’d said nothing at all. But after this terrible year, there is one approach that I am landing on with both feet this election season:

Love.

I know it may seem trite. Perhaps it feels too obvious or simple. That, and it does nothing about changing the minds of those we love, so they can join us over on “our side.” Only if there is one thing social distancing with COVID, and my dad’s cancer, is teaching me is

Time with our loved ones isn’t promised.

The people in our lives, our friends and relatives, are a gift. And we don’t know how long they’ll be with us. Allowing our differences of opinion when it comes to politics, to come between us is missing the point. 

Politics should be about serving us, the people. But over the last ten years or more, they’ve caused us more grief than good. And letting them tear apart our relationships, is giving them way more power than they deserve.

That is why this election season, we can’t allow our family ties to fade to the background. On November Fourth, all the votes will have been cast. And no matter what the outcome, we’re going to want to still be in relationship with our family. Getting enraged over passing comments or Facebook posts, won’t do any good. Not only that, but moving toward each other in love, rather than away, will provide us with a far better outcome.

However, there is one caveat I will place here. 

For some of us, there are political issues that are not only personal, but they are or will deeply effect the way we’re living our everyday lives. If there is someone in your life who touts their extreme viewpoint without recognizing how it could negatively impact you—this is a good time to step back from that relationship. Peacefully putting distance between you and them, maybe the most loving thing you can do for both of you right now. 

Choosing politics over family will do nothing for our country and even less for ourselves.

Voting is crucial, and the decisions our politicians are making about our country will effect us for years to come. Only choosing politics over family will do nothing for our country and even less for ourselves. The more divided we are at home, the less chance we have of being able to heal what is going on in our world. 

Who in your life is leaning away from you politically right now?

What does it look like for you to love them well despite your differences?

Have you too, struggled with finding focus since the Pandemic? Are you having a hard time feeling productive because you feel mentally exhausted? Sign up for my email list today, and receive a free copy of my Six Ways to Find Focus in a Pandemic. It will help you find your footing again.

Photo by Element5 Digital from Pexels