This past weekend, Tony and I took a trip with our closest friends to the Finger Lakes in New York. There we had “socially distanced” wine tastings. We hiked the gorge in Watkins Glen with our masks on. And we ate almost all of our meals at the little cottage we rented. Proving that traveling in the time of COVID is challenging, but not impossible.
If someone was to ask me and Tony what makes our marriage not only work, but also thrive, we’d probably tell them two things.
In seasons like these, travel can often feel like a luxury. Something we should put off until a better time. Only, if someone was to ask me and Tony what makes our marriage not only work, but also thrive, we’d probably tell them two things. The first is our relationships with Jesus, and our commitment to seek Him together regularly. The second however, is
Tony and I get away.
We don’t allow our daily lives to be the only world in which our relationship lives. In seasons where our life has felt like it was closing in on us, Tony and I have taken a lot of day trips. And since the beginning of our marriage, we’ve carefully budgeted and planned for vacations to travel to beautiful and faraway places.
We don’t allow our daily lives to be the only world in which our relationship lives.
Part of why travel has been a value for us, may be found in our wiring. We love exploring new locations. But travel has strengthened our marriage in some important, yet unexpected ways. Ones, I feel are beneficial to share today as we are in our sixth month of the pandemic.
Marriage is hard.
It is difficult even when the world is only at a normal level of worrisome. Only 2020 has been an incubator for stress, fear, and pain. Tensions have run high in each of us as individuals, so being quarantined with our spouses has been, in moments, like shooting off two firecrackers in the same small room. Neither spouse can come away from a situation like that without feeling a little burned. This is why now, more than ever friends,
If you’re married, it’s time for the two of you to get away. Together.
Even if you only go thirty minutes down the road. Even if you only spend an afternoon. Getting away as a couple has a way of doing the following:
Travel more quickly severs you mentally from the weight of daily life.
Leaving the location of your stress and worry has a way of short-circuiting your brain from cycling through all that is causing you and your spouse anxiety right now. For a few hours, a day, or a few days, it gives you a break. It’s a relief valve for you both, that will enable you to have fun and let loose together.
Getting away gives you both something to look forward to.
We all need a good reason to keep going during the week, especially right now. Planning a small trip for you and your spouse will brighten both of your moods.
It will give you a chance to rest.
Not only does travel lighten your mental load, but it takes you away from your daily grind. You’re away from the stressors of work and the projects of home that are always calling you to do more. Being away, keeps you both from burning out and gives you time to rest.
Travel enables you to focus on each other.
One of the biggest pitfalls in marriage, is how easy it is to lose sight of your spouse. To forget what is important to them or how wonderful they are as a person. When we do this, we can easily begin to see each other as opponents instead of teammates. Getting away, helps us focus in on our closest friend, to show them love, and to remember why we fell in love in the first place.
Getting away offers a chance to build memories and share new experiences.
When Tony and I got lost in Venice, hiked a mountain in Ireland, camped thirty minutes away, visited a distillery in our city, and explored a museum in Philadelphia—we created memories that we return to on bad days. Stories that make us laugh. Fights that we remember because working through them made us stronger. Moments, that make us smile. Travel and making time for new experiences is an investment in your relationship that will give you dividends for years to come.
Going somewhere new offers you both a shared perspective.
Very rarely are we capable of making good, objective decisions when we’re too close to a situation. Whereas when we get out of our own context—where we can learn and see new things—we get a broader perspective of our world, and our personal lives. Getting away with our spouses helps us both step back, take a break, and then return to our daily lives better able to approach things from a different vantage point.
Travel is an opportunity for fun.
As adults, it is easy to become so serious about our lives. But studies have shown we need playtime just as much as kids do. Not only that, but our marriages need to have fun—and it doesn’t need to be fancy. Sure, Tony and I have been to Italy. But our regular day trips where we’ve packed a lunch and jumped in the car for a day have been as meaningful and enjoyable. Having fun with your spouse strengthens your relationship for both the daily grind as well as the unexpected yet inevitable hardships of life.
When was the last time you and your spouse traveled?
What is the soonest you can get away together again?
Have you too, struggled with finding focus since the Pandemic? Are you having a hard time feeling productive because you feel mentally exhausted? Sign up for my email list today, and receive a free copy of my Six Ways to Find Focus in a Pandemic. It will help you find your footing again.
Photo by Justin Groep on Unsplash
