Growing up, there was a common theme that ran through many of the movies I watched and books I read. The main character or hero was presented with a choice: Go follow your dreams OR stay where everything is familiar and always wonder what would have happened if you left. In ninety-nine percent of those stories, the hero left home.
“Go follow your dreams” OR “stay where everything is familiar and always wonder what would have happened if you left.”
The protagonist said goodbye to all she knew, and set out on her own. Sure, in many stories, she came back at some point to visit. But often, she only returned to find she no longer belonged. A more meaningful and adventurous life had been found elsewhere.
I loved these stories.
So, it’s no surprise that when I got a job out of state in my early twenties, I took it. I moved eight hours away from everything and almost everyone I knew, and began an adventure of my own. Only, as I shared Monday, just a few short years later, I was ready to move again. In fact, I was “so over” a few of my circumstances, I came very close to moving across the country. I even paid my deposit for grad school.
The changes I really wanted, weren’t going to come from going after some big adventure.
But then, I began to sense God moving in my heart to stay. And the idea of following my dreams, shifted. It wasn’t that the plans I made to move out west were bad. I just started to see that the changes I really wanted, weren’t going to come from going after some big adventure. They weren’t going to come from switching up my surroundings at all. Instead, they could only come from changing what was going on inside of me.
I decided to stay.
I leaned in deeper in some of my friendships. I started to see a counselor. I began showing up in the places of my life that could offer me a better sense of community. And I decided to learn how I could better lead in a difficult situation. Many of the things I wanted to escape, didn’t change. But I did, and it made all the difference.
For all of us, this year has brought changes. Some we wanted, many we didn’t. Changes that have made us feel stuck—in quarantine, our job, unemployment, at home, etc. Perhaps even ones that have made us think about making some drastic changes in our lives, simply to escape all the discomfort we are feeling right now.
Only for many of us, escaping isn’t the answer.
The pain, confusion or discomfort we are experiencing won’t go away by moving across the country. Heck, it won’t go away if we move down the street. For many of us, our current struggles are ones we need to deal with head on, right where we are. Not only that, but few of us have the option of escaping right now. That is why I want to share these three practical things I did that helped me stay put, when all I wanted to do was runaway:
Pray
Whatever your relationship with God is like—He is there to listen whenever you need to talk. Not only that, but I’ve found He always gives me a sense of peace or direction when I pray a lot over a big decision I’m making. And in difficult relationships, praying has always helped me see where I am expecting too much from others—or where I need to set up boundaries, and expect more. If you are new to prayer, think of it as a conversation with someone who loves you unconditionally—what would you say to that person? Then say those words out loud or write them down. God is listening.
Find Someone to Talk To
Pick a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor to talk with regularly during this time about what is going on in your life. It will help you feel less alone, and your struggle will feel lighter. Not only that, but they might help you come up with ways of making good changes right where you are that will help you enter a healthier heart and mind space.
Name What You Really Want
Sometimes, we think we want one thing, when what we really want is what we think that thing can give us. Ask yourself what you really want, then ask yourself, “Why?” Perhaps you do want what you think you want. But what if what you really want is something you can get right where you are with a little intentionality? Take some time to name your desires and how they would make your current life better. Then through prayer and with the help of trusted friends, figure out your next steps to making good changes right where you are—even if it’s not yet fully the change you want.
When was the last time you talked to God or a trusted person about what you’re going through?
What do you really want? How would it make your life better?
Feeling a little adrift in this strange, new normal of being at home? Sign up for my email list and get your free copy of my Social Distancing Survival Guide: Everyday Routines. Sign up here.
Photo by Blaz Photo on Unsplash
