As we’ve all been in a time of great change this season, this month all the posts here will be about change in some form. Today, I am re-sharing a post from a few years ago about when there was a change I needed to make that felt impossible. I hope it gives you hope for any changes you are longing to make.
Six years ago, on a hot, sunny Saturday over Labor Day weekend, I stood at the top of a waterfall. I stared at the cool pool of water collecting just before spilling over the edge, and debated sticking my feet in. I didn’t hesitate long.
Tony had gone further down the trail with his camera, to try and capture the waterfall from the bottom. I could see him from where I was standing, and knew I had a least a few minutes before it would be time for us to head back to camp. So, I took off my hiking shoes, then peeled away the sweaty socks from my feet. I walked right in. The water was freezing, but I barely noticed. I wasn’t think about the temperature.
All I noticed was the sound of water falling.
We had just finished hiking the trail at Rickett’s Glen State Park in Northern Pennsylvania—a trail that passes by over twenty waterfalls. All along our walk we could hear the sound of rushing water. And all along our walk, the sound seemed to say:
Let Go.
Where Tony had brought his camera and tripod on our hike, I had carried a different kind of weight. After being in the same job for the majority of my twenties, both God and my circumstances were telling me it was time to leave. And the waterfalls seemed to agree.
As Tony continued taking photo’s I stared down at the smooth rock under my feet. I opened a Vitamin Water (it was back when they were cool), left the cap by my shoes, and waded around in the cold water, sipping the red liquid.
Let Go.
So much easier said than done. Leaving didn’t only mean letting go of all the hard and unhealthy parts of my work situation—it also meant leaving literally hundreds of people that I loved. But staying meant continuing to let important parts of me die. It meant my voice continually getting softer until I knew one day, no one would hear me. I had to leave, but I didn’t know how. I had to leave, but I felt
Stuck.
It is amazing how these situations seem to sneak up on us. One moment we are following our career path, the rules, our dreams, or even God, and the next, we find ourselves caught. We believe we are—and sometimes, we are—doing exactly what we’re supposed to be doing, when all of sudden we reach a dead end. Only it is worse than a dead end, because everything has grown dark. We’re being mistreated or we’re mistreating ourselves, and we don’t know how to escape or how to be different.
We feel like we’ve hit a wall.
There seems to be no way out. Or worse, we believe lies that keep us facing a wall that we’re meant to climb. We stay in toxic relationships because we feel needed. We give into our addictions or bad habits because we think we can’t change. Or we’re afraid to leave a group or company because we’ll be branded a quitter. We think we’re meant to stay. But let me tell you, there is a time to stay, and a time to go. And if you are feeling stuck, with no opportunities for growth or change, chances are, it’s time to go.
Wading around at the top of the waterfall that day, I told God I didn’t know how to leave. I couldn’t see a way out. I told Him, I knew it was time but that I needed some help.
~~~
The next week at work, a coworker came to tell me that she had been praying for me and that as she prayed a scripture came to mind. As we were not close friends, she had no idea what was going on with me. She said, she didn’t know what it meant but that she felt I needed this verse:
“You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” (Ps. 18:28-29)
Now, I am not one to freely give out or receive Bible verses as God’s specific Word for others or myself. But when God gives a verse to someone who doesn’t even know you’re looking for an answer—and that verse is on point—there is no ignoring it. In that moment, God was telling me that He was going to help me scale the unscalable wall. He was going to help me leave.
There are times God calls us to stay, but there are also times where is He is providing everything we need to leave. If you feel stuck, and you’re struggling to find a way out, know that God knows the way. Know that He can be trusted. And don’t stay stuck longer than you need to.
Do you need a change?
Do you fee stuck?
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