A friend of mine once told me that she hates spending too much time at home. When she was growing up, things were bad living with her parents. Home was not a good place to be. So now, as an adult, she’d rather spend her downtime outside of her own home—doing errands or being involved in activities. For her, being home means being still enough for all the hard things of her past to surface.

Home is not always our place of comfort.

Only now, that is where many of us are. We’re working from home or our jobs have been called off. For a few weeks now, we’ve been asked to practice social distancing and/or to shelter in place. 

Suddenly, our houses feel too big with just ourselves in them. Or, too small for us and all the people we live with. If our living situations are hard, they’ve become harder. If they’re good, they’re becoming let’s say—rough around the edges.

Not only that, but any feelings or situations we’ve been avoiding, are now staring us in the face.  The pace of our lives has slowed just enough for them to find their way into our consciousness. Existential questions weigh on our hearts during the day, and keep us up at night. Or, at minimum, fear and anxiety over how long this will last, makes it hard for us to feel settled. To find rest. 

What do we do with all these feelings?

For many of us, our first reaction will be to numb them. To binge TV for hours. Bake something sweet and indulge. Or pour some of that wine we bought right before the liquor stores closed. Only, as we will soon discover, all of these things are simply temporary fixes.

If the things you and I have been carrying deep inside are rising to the surface, they’re not going away.

Hard situations, old wounds, or anxiety won’t go away because we’ve given ourselves chocolate. Sure, they’ll shut up for a couple of hours. Then wake us up in the middle of the night, or bother us the next morning. If the things you and I have been carrying deep inside are rising to the surface, they’re not going away. 

But the good news is, no matter how difficult or painful these feelings are, there are tools and people available to help us face them. We don’t have to do this alone, nor do we have to endure our current situation interminably. There is a way through.

We don’t have to do this alone, nor do we have to endure our current situation interminably.

When I’ve found myself in times where past hurts are letting me know they haven’t healed, I take some time to pray and journal. I tell a friend. And then, if the pain keeps lingering, I talk to a mentor or counselor—someone who can help me do the deeper work of healing. 

Now, thanks to technology, all of these things can be done at home. If our feelings are becoming too much, we can close ourselves in a room, and FaceTime a friend. If what we’re battling is heavier than it’s ever been, counselors are available to meet us virtually on protected sites. And prayer and journaling have been and are always there for us.

Often, quiet is the very thing we need to face, process, and heal the emotions we’ve been avoiding.

Getting quiet and slowing down our lives, often feels like we are inviting the enemy into our hearts and homes. But often, quiet is the very thing we need to face, process, and heal the emotions we’ve been avoiding. We can grit and bear the feelings we’re experiencing right now. We can try to white knuckle it through this time of social distancing. Or, we can use this as an opportunity to get help and find healing. 

What have you been feeling this week?

Where have those feelings come from?

Who do you need to talk to about them?

Feeling a little adrift in this strange, new normal of being at home? Sign up for my email list and get your free copy of my Social Distancing Survival Guide: Everyday Routines. Sign up here.

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash