This past summer, Tony and I grew four tomato plants out on our deck. If you follow me on Instagram, you probably saw some of our first fruits, as I was pretty excited to get a crop. But then, blossom end rot began to overtake our San Marzano plant.
For every healthy tomato, it seemed there were two that began to blacken and wrinkle from the bottom up. I was so discouraged. Instead of harvesting red ripe tomatoes, every time I went out to the porch it seemed I was bringing back little, rotting, baby green ones. It was depressing.
Soon, I reached out to our sister-in-law, who runs a farm with Tony’s brother. She has tended her fair share of tomato plants over the years. And this summer she grew enough tomatoes to can pasta sauce to feed her family, all Wisconsin winter long. Obviously, she was the one to ask.
I sent her a text, and she offered me a few tips. One was to add calcium to the soil. But the other, was to trim back the leaves to force the plant to give more nutrients to the tomatoes. Not long after her text, I was out on our porch giving our San Marzano a “hair cut.”
Needless to say, when I was done, our tomato plant looked a lot less pretty. But by trimming back the excess leaves, we were able to salvage a small crop of San Marzano’s this year. Not enough to make pasta sauce, but a few to add into some of our meals.
After my trim fest with the scissors, every day I would go out to the porch to water the plants. There at the end, the San Marzano looked a little sadder than the rest. But it continued to grow tall.
One morning, I looked out through our sliding glass door to check the plants. It had rained so they didn’t need their normal watering. I glanced over to the corner of the porch where our gangly San Marzano plant stood. And as I looked at it, something inside me went a little soft. This plant reminded me of something.
No, it reminded me of me.
And, probably most of us who have experienced change. Especially, any of us who have experienced unwanted change.
There are changes in life that bring us so much joy, it feels like we are blossoming all over. But then, there are also those changes that do the opposite. It could be illness, loss, or a broken heart—anything that causes us to go inward. Where we need to break off the excess branches we’ve reached out into the world, to give us enough energy to do the things that are most important.
Sometimes, change changes us in a way that it is hard to come to terms with. For a season or for the foreseeable future, we don’t look at all like the way we thought we would. Our life, doesn’t look anything like what we planned.
Here is the secret people rarely talk about when it comes to suffering: Unwanted change can bring about desired transformation.
It is in these moments, where it can be tempting to get bitter. Where it’s hard not to look at everyone else’s lives, all lush and green, and compare. To wonder why they are thriving, when we feel like we’re barely surviving.
But here is the secret people rarely talk about when it comes to suffering: Unwanted change can bring about desired transformation. These changes that prune our lives back to the point of unrecognizable. That seem to kill off dreams or things that used to bring us so much joy. If we let them, these changes can shaped us into the people we want to be. They can turn us into more compassionate, loving, patient, and stronger versions of ourselves.
So yes, these changes may make us feel and even look a little wonky like our San Marzano plant. But they may just produce the fruit we’ve been hoping for all along.
When has change changed you?
When have you felt gangly or wonky, like my tomato plant?
Are you experiencing change in your life right now? Does your mind feel cluttered will all that this change could mean? If so, sign up for my email list and get your FREE copy of my Five Steps to Declutter Your Mind, to help you find clarity and peace on this journey.
