It’s so easy to take the leap into the job or dream we want, and not realize until later what we’ve lost. That somehow by moving toward something fantastic, we could also be moving away from something equally important. I can think of a few instances in my life where that happened, and most notably the loss was often
Friendship.
When our friends have always been there for us, we kind of assume they will be there in our next phase as well. That like our favorite pair of jeans or that blanket we got in Mexico, we can pack them in our suitcase. Or, that the change we’re making won’t change us, therefore altering the commonality we share in our friendships. But the sad truth of the matter is,
Friendships don’t always last.
So what do we do, when all of a sudden there becomes an unescapable void in our lives? When our Saturdays become endlessly long because there’s no one to hang out with. Or when there is no one to call after work to vent about our day’s troubles. Whether we’ve moved home to pay off our college debt, or we’ve moved to a faraway state for our dream job, a lack of friendship can be the most daunting, lonely part of our lives. One for which there is only one solution:
We need to make new friends.
Cue the feeling we had on our first day of school. That weird sense that no one and everyone is looking at us, all at the same time. If it wasn’t for that one friend who told us we could sit with her, we still don’t know where we’d be. But how do we do this as adults?
How do we meet friends?
Having moved far away from family in my early twenties, I learned rather quickly that finding friends as an adult is kind of like dating. You have to put yourself out there. You have to ask someone if they’d like to meet for coffee. Then you either need to move on if they say no, or work your way through an awkward conversation to see if you click.
If we wait for friendship to happen to us, we’re going to spend a lot of nights alone, binging Netflix.
Sure, sometimes you meet a friend and hit it off instantly like they do in the movies. Sometimes, you meet your best friend at work. But if we wait for friendship to happen to us, we’re going to spend a lot of nights alone, binging Netflix. As humans, we are built for relationships, which means we need to figure out what it looks like to get out and form new friendships.
If your social situation has changed, if you are feeling a big relational void in your life, take some initiative and start reaching out. Don’t let the fear of rejection keep you from putting yourself out there. You are worth getting to know. You are friendship worthy.
Don’t let the fear of rejection keep you from putting yourself out there. You are worth getting to know. You are friendship worthy.
Go online and find local meet ups of things that interest you. Join a gym or yoga studio. Take an art or cooking class. Volunteer for a cause that matters to you. Or attend local networking meet ups for professionals. There are endless ways to connect with people if we just get a little creative.
Adulthood doesn’t have to equal loneliness. And this change in your social life doesn’t need to be permanent. I know it’s easier said than done, but go get out there, and make some friends!
How has your social situation changed over the past few years?
What could you do, to make some new connections?
Are you experiencing change in your life right now? Does your mind feel cluttered will all that this change could mean? If so, sign up for my email list and get your FREE copy of my Five Steps to Declutter Your Mind, to help you find clarity and peace on this journey.
