Life is hard.

There are dreams or goals we work for without any guarantee that they will ever happen. There are difficult family relationships for us to navigate. Friendships that never last as long as we’d like. Physical or mental ailments or allergies that wear us down or threaten to hold us back. And don’t even get me started on dating or marriage.

Only sometimes, we are so focused on these things that we can’t see our biggest obstacle to living healthier and more joyful lives—is ourselves. Where some of our everyday behaviors are tripping us up. And possibly, even making us sick.

All the ways I had learned to survive and even succeed in college, no longer worked for me in the real world.

As I shared Monday, I hit a wall in my twenties. A place, where all the ways I had learned to survive and even succeed in college, no longer worked for me in the real world. In some cases, where they were actually making me sick. But a string of episodes of losing my voice, and later even finding myself in the emergency room for a mysterious cause, all brought me to my senses. 

I had to make a change.

Since that time, I have made countless changes to how I am living and even thriving in life. Full disclosure: some of them began in my twenties. Some of them, I am still working on. But I wish someone had told me to make all of these changes much earlier. Today, here are five changes that have made a huge difference in my life—and that I wish I made earlier in my twenties. I wish I had learned how to:

Set boundaries.

In my job, in my friendships, and in all of my relationships, I wish I had learned what it meant to set boundaries. To be aware of what I was capable of giving and doing for others, and not try to do any more. For a long time I believed my worth was wrapped up in what I could give to others, and this made for some very unhealthy situations in my life. But through counseling and the help of some mentors, I learned how to say no where I needed to. And that saying no—even to people I care about—means saying the yeses I am best able to live into. 

Stop eating sugar and gluten.

Since I was a kid, I remember craving sugar and being hungry all the time. What I didn’t know was the more sugar I ate, the more I would feel this way. At some point, I began to realize that sugar was a problem for me, but I had no idea how to eat without it (it’s in everything). Then, when I was thirty-three, I did the Whole30. It helped me get off sugar and discover that I do better when I don’t eat gluten. It was life changing for me. All of a sudden I had so much more energy and I wasn’t hungry all the time. 

Eat to fuel my body rather than comfort it.

Similar to what I said above, food for me meant comfort. But when I learned how to eat to fuel my body, I didn’t have hunger to go along with my emotional cravings. This has helped me eat in a way that keeps me from getting sick, helps me stay energized throughout the day, and more successfully ward off emotional eating (though, I still have my moments).

Make exercise a regular part of my life.

In my twenties, I’d go to a gym for a few months, then disappear for the rest of year. I went through short spurts of exercising regularly, and long stretches of inactivity. But since then, I have learned that even simply moving your body regularly can help ward off depression, and help you process stress. The more I move, the better I feel and the stronger I am to engage with my world. 

Care less about what other people think, and more about what I do.

Caring so much about what other’s thought about me, led me to a dangerous place where I let the wrong people define who I was. Since then I have learned that only a select trustworthy few get to weigh in on how I see myself. And even then, they are second to God. Letting other people define how we see ourselves, gives them a power they were never meant to have.

What changes do you wish you had made earlier?

What changes do you need to pursue to be a healthier you? 

Are you experiencing change in your life right now? Does your mind feel cluttered will all that this change could mean? If so, sign up for my email list and get your FREE copy of my Five Steps to Declutter Your Mind, to help you find clarity and peace on this journey.