A cause that is excruciatingly dear to my heart, is churches ordaining women pastors. As slow as equal rights for women have moved in the workplace, in the church they have moved even slower. Toxic rhetoric around the role of women, is recited often as clearly as scripture in many church leadership circles. And when I left church ministry for related reasons, I quickly started looking for churches that empower women.
In the denomination I had served in, I found few. However one of those churches was a rather large one, lead by a world renown, influential leader. I started paying attention to some of the messages and books coming out of that church. They invited well-known women speakers to preach during their Sunday morning services, and I watched them online.
Then, during a leadership conference that was being streamed to hundreds of churches, the pastor of this church spoke. In his talk, he strongly encouraged the male leaders listening to empower the women in their congregations to lead. His words were posted online, and I shared them on my Facebook page. I prayed he would make a difference, and that the conversation surrounding women’s role in the church would shift.
This was a few years ago.
Last month, in the most recent revelation of the #metoo and #churchtoo movement, this pastor stepped down. Under allegations of putting women in comprising situations—allegations spanning the many decades of his leadership—he retired just six months shy of his planned exit. This man, who I thought was a champion for women leaders, was accused by multiple women of making them feel unsafe.
Though part of me wanted to cry foul, like many of his loyal congregants, more of me was not surprised. More of me felt broken for his family. And most of me again felt broken for all the women who held these secrets for so many years.
No leader is perfect.
But that doesn’t give them a pass for bad behavior. In fact, I would say the bigger your leadership, the more responsibility you have to get it right. Only, those of us who know how daunting leadership can be, are left to wonder, how? If the leaders we look up to and admire fall, what hope is there for us?
The only answer I keep coming back to, is something a mentor of mine told me, early in my ministry. In a trying and stretching time, she told me: “There is nothing worse than a leader with a big assignment, and a small character.”
Then she went on to say that if I let Him, God would use my trials to build my character and integrity—and that it would help sustain me in the leadership God was calling me to.
Character is built when we keep doing what is right, even when situations are difficult. It’s doing what is right, even when no one is looking. It is through holding onto this practice even when our leadership grows to platforms and positions of power higher than we imagined—our leadership is sustained.
But it isn’t easy. It involves building our own trustworthy teams of accountability; people who will question us, when no else thinks they need to. It involves developing self-awareness, and leading with humility. Believing, that no matter how high we’ve risen, we are still capable of mistakes, and still in need of wise counsel.
“There is nothing worse than a leader with a big assignment, and a small character.”
Over and over, from Hollywood to our government to our churches, we are seeing powerful leaders fall. No longer can we look at these people and their situations as isolated incidences. Rather we must see that personal and moral failure is possible for all of us. The only antidote is good character with a strong dose of humility.
If you too have watched leaders you admired fall, or if you are a leader yourself, today I want to encourage you that there is hope. It doesn’t lie in finding other people to put on pedestals, rather it lies in learning to be better leaders ourselves. Leaders who ask for help, invite difficult feedback, and never for a second take our position for granted.
What leader have you watched fall?
How can you make you story different?
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I too have been disheartened by the fall of many leaders and wrestled with the why’s and what that means for us. Thanks for sharing!
I have seen this, as well. They Holy Spirit led me to look past the leader and see the cross, and know that they, in fact, will fail and fall. The solid expectation is on Christ Alone, and not putting those over us on a platform, but on the altar to pray over, is needed. It’s painful to have the cover torn from innocent perception. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a leader as human, flaws and all.
So true, Lindsey. It is more dangerous than we realize to look at other human beings as superhuman–both for us and for them. Because when they mess up, the greater the leader the more devastating it feels.
I think leaders in big positions are under greater spiritual attack–which doesn’t excuse their fall, but it makes it easier to fall. It should give us great pause before we try to take on any position in the spotlight.