Growing up, I had the gift of spending a lot of time with my grandparents. One of the things we did most together was play games—namely, card games. Of course at first, it was Go Fish. Then as my sisters and I got older it became Rummy, Crazy eights, and Spades. I still remember my grandmother teaching me how to shuffle. But if there was anything all that time playing cards taught me, it was that it’s all about:

What you lay down, and what you pick up.

This is especially true in Rummy. If you’ve played it before, you know that there is a pick up pile and a discard pile. However if the discard pile starts to hold a certain number of cards you need, you can pick them up—as long as you take all the cards that were laid down after them—which can grow your hand pretty quickly.

Picking up from the discard pile is a risk. It may stick you with cards you can’t play, causing your opponent to go out faster than you. Or, if the cards fall just right—you win! You are able to use all the cards you picked up as well as all the ones in your hand, with one left over to discard. There is some strategy involved and part of it may be the luck of the draw, but for most of the game, one is asking:

What should I pick up? 

And what should I lay down?

Questions, that are important to ask in life as well. 

With each new season comes new opportunities and new struggles to bear. Often, we just add these onto our backs with all of the other things we’re carrying, and our loads become too big. Yet when we do this, we’re not able to give our full selves to everything, so we are constantly feeling pulled in too many directions.

Or, already carrying too much, we say no to new opportunities, afraid of what we’ll have to let go of to say yes. Either way—whether we are taking on too much or denying great possibilities—we lose. But, these two questions that we ask in card games, can help us “win” at some of life’s crossroads. 

By asking “What should I pick up?” we open ourselves up to the possibility of new experiences, new relationships, and opportunities for growth. Very likely, we also open ourselves up to fulfill the longings of our hearts—to do the things we know in our beings, we were made to do. For some of us this could mean volunteering at a cause that is dear to us. It could mean going back to school, or pursuing a dream. Whatever it may be though, sadly, we aren’t able to do these things well, if we aren’t also asking:

What should I lay down?

This question comes with a whole lot of baggage. Partly, I think because some of us struggle to let go—to let things, seasons, and even relationships die when they should. Very few of us know how to end things well. But beyond that, I think the fear of what others think of us, keeps us from asking this question.

Many of us are too afraid to ask what we should put down, because we believe that if we let something go, others will think we’re weak. That we couldn’t handle the pressure. So we either take on too much and never feel like we are enough, or we say no to the very things we were made to do. All the while we are missing the secret all successful people follow—one that is right in front of us.

All successful people weigh what is most important in their lives, and let go of the things that are holding them back from reaching what is most significant. If we could lay down some of the things that are holding us back or keeping us from our best—beginning with the weight of what other people think of us—I believe we would find that not only can we go faster towards our dreams, but we can also go further.

Recently, I was in a place of too many possibilities. I quickly began to feel overwhelmed over all that was, and all that could be—until I started to pray:

God, what are you calling me to pick up?

And what are you calling me to lay down?

Immediately, I began to feel some peace. The answers didn’t come quickly, but when they did they were clear. Life, like cards, is a series of laying things down and picking things up. I want to make sure I am choosing the right things to carry, don’t you?

What are you carrying?

What do you need to pick up?

What do you need to lay down?

 

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