It is a question so classic, it’s almost cliche. We all have heard it. Many of us probably asked it as children. On short trips or long trips, coming from the back seat of a car, someone always asks:

“Are we there yet?”

Little did any of us know, our family car trips as children were providing us with more preparation for adulthood than we could have ever realized. Life rarely happens when and how we think it should. The waiting to get to where we want to go can seem endless. And, if you grew up with siblings, you know you don’t always get to pick your company for the journey.

Yet all of this often comes to us as a shock once we enter our twenties. We’re finally out on our own (or should be), and find we have less control over our fate than when we were in the safety of our teens.

No one told us it would be like this.

No matter how hard we work, our dreams seem more impossible than we thought. No matter how many people we meet, friendships are more difficult to form. And no matter how well we plotted our path in twelfth grade, we still feel terribly lost.

“Are we there yet?” takes on a whole new meaning when it feels like you have to start your journey, all over from scratch, at the very age you thought you’d be arriving. Though this feels like awfully bad news, there actually is a lot of good in finding yourself in this place.

From someone who found herself in her mid-twenties, not quite where she wanted to be, let me share with you three pieces of good news to feeling lost in your twenties (or thirties for that matter):

1. No One “Arrives”:

Though the view of adulthood we acquired as children seemed to prove otherwise—no one on earth ever gets to the point in their life where they arrive at nirvana. Even those, who have pieced together an enviable version of the American Dream, have their own set of disappointments or unrealized goals. Not achieving what you thought you would by now, puts you in good company. And in even better news:

2. Who wants to “Arrive” anyway?

Though we all feel tempted to shoot up our hands, one of the best things in life is the journey. Our goals, dreams, and passions are what cause us to move forward. Though they bring us through painful times that stretch and challenge us, we are made better people because of them. Though they push us far outside of our comfort zones, it is when they do, we feel the most alive. And though they keep us waiting—though they have us praying “are we there yet?”—the journey towards them, opens us up to some of the most amazing experiences of our lives. If we were to arrive, all of that would stop. Besides:

3. You know more now.

Believe it or not, you are better off now that your perfectly curated plans to become a doctor (a lawyer, a movie star, etc.), have fallen through. When did you make those plans anyway? 7th grade? 10th grade? Did you know who you were back then? I realize some people know at a young age what they are going to be when they grow up—but that is only a few people. If you are considering a change in your career path, the good news about figuring out your future now, in your twenties (or thirties), is that you know yourself. Ok, you may not fully know who you are now, but you know more than you did in high school. By taking what you do know about yourself, and by continuing to seek to know yourself better, you can make a more knowledgeable decision about your future.

Though we may often feel tempted to ask “are we there yet?” The truth is, at least this side of Heaven, we will never quite feel as if we have “arrived.” The good news, however, is that if we seek them out—we will find quite a few people, experiences, and self-discoveries on our way that are worth the trip.

Have you found yourself asking “are we there yet?”—a lot lately?

If so, what do you think you are really longing for?

 

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