Waiting…With Expectation

Do you remember that feeling you got as a kid, on Christmas Eve? Trying to go to sleep, knowing that when you woke up, there would be presents under the tree? When I think about the anxious excitement that used to surge through me, I can almost feel it in my chest. That feeling of joyous expectation is hard to forget.

The thing is, as children, we felt it a lot more. Birthdays, 4th of July Fireworks, parties, or field trips, all fueled our childhood sense of wonder. And Christmas was the excitement of all of those things, rolled into one twenty-four hour period. Every year, after Thanksgiving, the Christmas Carols would come on the radio and our imaginations soared. Unless our family was having a bad year, we were always sure that Christmas was going to be amazing. And:

We expected greatness.

Do you remember? Do you remember what it was like to expect greatness? Recently, I have been turning these childhood Christmas memories over and over in my mind. I have been wondering why I, as an adult, have found myself expecting greatness less and less.

As I have shared before, for the past few years, I have been praying for God to answer some hard questions about my future. Like a kid waiting the whole month of December for Santa, I have been waiting for God to move in my life. While at the same time, rather unlike a child trying to fall asleep on December 24th, I have been more like a patient in a waiting room. The longer I sit, the harder I struggle to believe that the diagnosis I am waiting for, is good.

Why does God make us wait?

I have asked the question so many times. The story of Christmas only adds further to the mystery. Israel knew they were waiting for the Messiah, yet they did not hear from God for over four hundred years before the Angel showed up to Zechariah, and then to Mary. Waiting seems to be an important part of God’s story. And though it doesn’t offer us His rationale, Christmas gives us the ultimate reason to wait with expectation:

Jesus.

Jesus reminds us that the greatest gifts often come in small packages; while simultaneously reminding us that what we ask of God is tiny compared to what He wants to give. Jesus is God’s message that He has never left us alone. And Jesus reminds us that God doesn’t always give us what we want, but He ALWAYS gives us more than we need.

For a while now I have felt the weight of hard questions, and I confess, I have been afraid of God’s answers. But as we enter into the week leading up to Christmas, this year I am throwing off the weight and the fear. I am believing in the God who gives the BEST gifts. I am remembering Jesus, and I am waiting with great expectation. I don’t know when He will move, but He WILL move, and when He does, it will be amazing.