New Year, New You–Or, Keep Fighting the Good Fight

Every year around this time, the story is always the same. “New Year, New You.” All of a sudden gym parking lots are full. We buy vegetables in bulk, and sigh at the numbers on our scales. We try to figure out how much kale we can hide in a smoothie, and feel the pressure to be different. And some years, this is good.

There are January’s where we need to do something drastic to help get us back on course. To give us perspective. Or, to make a real change.

But then there are January’s where striving to achieve a resolution only brings more heartache. Where we try to fix inward issues with outward practices. Or our new workout schedule only crowds our overbooked life. Where New Year’s Resolutions bring more stress and shame, rather than the promised shiny “new you.”

There are years where it’s better not to make a significant change in January. When it is more important to take stock of what is going on in our lives. When it is better to slow down and focus on the present, rather than striving to make things the way we want them to be. When we need to fight feeling discouraged over who we’re not, to focus on doing our best right now.

For me, it’s one of those years.

This year, while traveling over the holiday’s, I got a cornea abrasion (aka, I scratched my eyeball). Which meant, my husband and I had to leave our family for a few hours to go to Urgent Care. And wouldn’t you know, before taking me back to see the doctor, the nurse asked me to step on a scale.

Thank you friendly nurse in Wisconsin for the reminder that I was indeed eating too much over the Holidays. And for the affirmation that my jeans hadn’t shrunk, but rather I had grown in all the wrong places.

Couldn’t we just have looked at my red, oozing eye?

In that moment my focus shifted from the fear that I might have pink eye—and be contagious to all of our nieces and nephews—to my weight. I felt the sinking feeling of shame begin to creep in. I thought about all the food I shouldn’t have eaten, and all the exercise I haven’t been doing. Then, I remembered how hopeless I used to feel about my weight, and wondered for a moment, “What if I can’t lose this weight? What if it only gets worse?”

These fears are what get us in to trouble. They are what have us creating unrealistic workout schedules, starting unhealthy fad diets, and setting impossible goals on the first of January. And for years, they are what kept me from truly caring for my body because I felt hopeless.

But this year, as they began to seep in, filling me with dread and shame, I stopped them in their tracks. I remembered that I have been on a health journey for a few years now that has given me the tools to get back on track. So rather than mentally gearing up to hit the gym hard as soon as we got home, I began to give myself grace. I internally committed to addressing how I felt about my weight when I got home, and then moved on to focus on enjoying the rest of our trip.

Then, when we got back, Tony and I slowly began to piece together a plan for how we wanted to be healthier in the New Year. And if I am honest, we’re still working on it. But it isn’t drastic, it isn’t a resolution. It is more about returning to old practices that we’ve strayed from, and creating a few new ones—all that will help us be our best selves.

Yes, there are January’s where hard and fast resolutions can be helpful. But I am finding that many years, it is really about thoughtfully looking at our imperfect lives with grace. And then making a few tweaks to help us get back on the track that will take us where we want to be.

Wherever you are this January regarding New Year’s Resolutions, I invite you to take a deep breath. Celebrate the good. Slowly make the tweaks that are best for you and your people. And keep fighting the good fight.