It is officially summer. We will have days at the beach or the pool. Trips to go hiking or explore new places. Time spent with friends or extended family—cooking out or sitting around a fire. And even possibly, a vacation to some place lovely.

It is the time of year where everything is supposed to slow down. The hustle of winter and spring is brought down a few notches, and we can actually have—

Fun.

The only problem with this is that for some of us, having fun is a struggle. Not all of us can flip the switch from productivity to party, without a concerted effort. In fact for some us the very act of having fun can feel like work. Or worse, we make it in to a production or project that it never was meant to be.

A day trip with friends turns into giving everyone a departure time with a warning that: “we might miss out on _____________, if we don’t leave by __AM.” Then someone accidentally sleeps in and you find yourself taking deep breaths, texting them for the fifth time about their ETA, and willing yourself to stop checking the time.

(Deep Breath)

You are so stressed out—about a day that was supposed to be FUN—that the people you’re with either catch your stress like a cold, or just shut down, silently praying for the sleepyhead to show up so you stop acting like a crazy person. But what our friends don’t realize is—we can’t help it. If we are the leaders or planners in our life, letting go of the details and having fun is hard.

I know this because, I am a leader and a planner. I like details and things to go smoothly. If possible, I want to get all I can out of a trip or experience. Also, I know, that as a planner, it can be difficult to be the detailed organizer at work, and not carry over the same mindset into my life.

Yet—we ALL need to have fun. 

In fact researchers have found that a whole bunch of good and important things come from having fun. Unstructured play is what enables children to develop social skills and coordination. And as adults, it enables us to be our most creative, productive, and best selves. So contrary to how unproductive and wasteful free time may seem, it is actually crucial to our well-being and overall success in life. In other words, having fun is important.

So, how do those of us who are used to taking charge or planning all the details, have fun?

Believe it or not, it doesn’t involve color coded maps or calendars—at least not all the time. For me, I have found that a big part of having fun is spending time with people who know how to let loose without trying, and who will tell me to lighten up when I need to. Also, I have found that if I am going on a trip or spending the day with a group of people, it helps to take five minutes before hand to really think about my expectations. This helps me make sure I am focusing on the most important things—like being with my people—and not worrying about the details.

Though having fun can at times be challenging for those of us who like details and structure, it is not impossible. The key is in finding our own ways of changing our mindset and making space in our life for the unplanned. If having fun is not a struggle for you, but it is for someone you love, try to be patient with them, and remind them in all the kind ways you can, to lighten up.

Do you struggle to have fun or to make time for it in your life?

How can you make time for fun this summer?

 

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Photo cred: Tony Schlies