grief – Melissa Schlies

Sometimes, Gratitude Isn’t Enough

Halloween is over. Somehow it’s already November. In a few weeks we’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving with loved ones. And if our festivities aren’t too chaotic, there will be a moment when we’ll reflect on what we’re thankful for this year. Individually or collectively, we’ll practice gratitude. For some of us, this activity will feel like vanilla ice cream on an already delicious slice of apple pie. But for others of us, gratitude will feel like the taste of your aunt’s over baked sweet potato casserole with charred marshmallows on top. You know it’s supposed to be sweet, but all you [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-10-31T23:31:51+00:00November 1st, 2021|Categories: Contentment, Depression, gratitude, grief, Health, Hope, Mental Health, Self Care|Comments Off

My Fall Bucket List & How Fall Helped Me Find Contentment

For as long as I can remember, fall has been my favorite season. It has the perfect weather to wear a sweater, but not need a jacket. To drink a hot, fall flavored latte without overheating. And to turn on the oven, and bake a pie. But ten years ago, Tony and I entered into a difficult life season, and fall became even more dear to me. Fall has the perfect weather to wear a sweater, but not need a jacket. To drink a hot, fall flavored latte without overheating. And to turn on the oven, and bake a pie. [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-10-13T23:20:23+00:00October 14th, 2021|Categories: Anxiety, Change, Conflict, Contentment, Creativity, Depression, grief, Habit Making, Health, perseverance, Self Care|Comments Off

Three Things To Remember As Fall Begins

Last week, Tony and I got on an airplane for the first time since the pandemic began. We went to visit Family. On our way home, due to a connecting flight, we sat on a hot tarmac in the middle of North Carolina, waiting to take off for Pennsylvania. And though, it wasn’t one of those awful situations you hear about on the news where people get stuck on a plane for hours, It felt like we were waiting forever. While Tony fell asleep next to me, I read. Then from my seat, I looked around the plane. Finally I [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-09-10T10:47:09+00:00September 13th, 2021|Categories: Anxiety, Change, Failure, grief, Habit Making, Hope, Routines|Comments Off

When Self Care Isn’t Enough

I used to think being strong meant nothing bothered you. Like Wonder Woman, you were able to deflect all that tried to bring you down. Or similar to body builders who keep telling their spotters to add more weights to their barbells, people could continue to place their burdens on your shoulders and you’d never break a sweat. For years, I tried to be this person. To carry responsibilities that weren’t mine when others were struggling. To hold the grief, heartache, or pain of those I cared about. To keep the world from falling a part (as if I could). [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-03-14T15:00:15+00:00March 15th, 2021|Categories: Adulting, Depression, grief, Health, Hope, Mental Health, Self Care|Comments Off

What Sourdough Bread is Teaching Me About Growth and Loss

This past December, as I stared down the social distancing winter we’re all in the middle of, I knew I had to take up a hobby. Sure, we still have a house that’s not fully decorated or furnished, but I needed a creative outlet where I could just play. Something with very little risk, and very little cost. So at the beginning of January, I started cultivating my first sourdough starter. I know it was very spring 2020 of me. But while everyone else was making bread during the first phase of the pandemic, we were buying our house. Now [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-02-19T19:14:12+00:00February 22nd, 2021|Categories: Courage, Food, Freedom, grief, Health, Hope, perseverance, Self Care|2 Comments

Finding What Feeds Us As the Pandemic Lingers

A few Sundays ago, Tony and I had a bad mood day. I’d had a terrible dream the night before, waking up with this awful feeling I couldn’t shake. And, as we work from home, we hadn’t left the house in too many days to count. We wanted to get out and do something—only because of the Pandemic and cold winter weather, our options were basically shopping, or shopping. Whenever we used to feel like we needed a break from life, pre-pandemic, we always hit the road. Though we knew our dilemma was basically champaign problems, we felt so discouraged [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-01-18T16:13:59+00:00January 18th, 2021|Categories: Balance, Change, grief, Habit Making, Health, Loneliness, Mental Health, perseverance, Social Distancing, Travel|Comments Off

“This Isn’t The Story I Wanted”

“I didn’t want to go online to meet someone.” A friend said to me once. I could see hurt and sadness in her eyes. When everyone else seems to naturally “bump into” their soulmate, it feels awful to have to work at it. It’s like you’re that one sock that comes out of the drier without a match. “This wasn’t the plan.” A former student said to me, when the job she’d counted on, fell through. We often don’t know how much we’ve invested of ourselves into our plans, until they fall a part. Especially when those plans have to [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2021-01-08T21:58:16+00:00January 11th, 2021|Categories: Acceptance, Balance, Change, grief, Health, perseverance|Comments Off

When Christmas Carols Sound Sad (& What to do With All Our Feelings this Week)

One night recently, Tony and I were on our way home from doing—what else—holiday errands. The sky outside was dark. A Christmas carol that is one of our favorites was playing on the radio. And about halfway through the song, Tony said, “For some reason, this song sounds sad this year.” It’s amazing how much of our own experiences we bring to music, or any type of art for that matter. But when Tony said these words I had to agree. In years past, this particular song has sounded as triumphant to me as Easter morning. As hopeful as kids [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-12-18T19:37:23+00:00December 21st, 2020|Categories: Acceptance, Change, Christmas, Depression, Faith, grief, Holidays, Hope, Loneliness, Social Distancing|Comments Off

For the Person Asking “Why Even Bother Celebrating Christmas?”

For many of us, when things don’t go the way we want, our first response is, “What’s the point?” Why should we continue with our plans if they can’t happen the way we want them to? Why should we even bother? Since buying our house earlier this year, in the middle of COVID, I’ve been tempted to think this way many times. Only for all of us, this defeatist attitude stems not from our plans being changed. Rather it is our desires that drove us to make our plans in the first place. My struggle to keep from throwing in [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-12-15T15:27:06+00:00December 14th, 2020|Categories: Acceptance, Christmas, Faith, grief, Habit Making, Holidays, Hope, perseverance, Practice, Preparation, Waiting|Comments Off

Practicing Gratitude In The Midst Of What Can’t Be

There are times in life when we get to be deliriously happy. As a kid, for me, this looked like our Grampa spontaneously taking us out for ice cream. Waking up to our mom baking blueberry muffins. And running down the beach with our cousins. For some reason, it doesn’t take much to experience complete joy as a kid. It doesn’t take much to experience complete joy as a kid. Though as adults, we too, have our own spectacular moments. For me, this happiness has looked like riding a train through the country side of India. The night Tony told [...]

By Melissa Schlies|2020-11-20T20:02:40+00:00November 23rd, 2020|Categories: Acceptance, Balance, Conflict, Faith, gratitude, grief, Holidays, Hope, Social Distancing|Comments Off

Sometimes, Gratitude Isn’t Enough

My Fall Bucket List & How Fall Helped Me Find Contentment

Three Things To Remember As Fall Begins

When Self Care Isn’t Enough

What Sourdough Bread is Teaching Me About Growth and Loss

“This Isn’t The Story I Wanted”

For the Person Asking “Why Even Bother Celebrating Christmas?”

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