Do you remember when Facebook was fun? When we didn’t have to scroll through posts that make us angry, afraid for our world, or cause us to question our friendship with people because of a political stance? Those were the days.

Over the past couple of months, a few friends and acquaintances have been posting on Facebook things about ending abortion in the US. I was raised to be Pro-Life. But honestly, every time I see these posts, I get sick to my stomach. 

As our country has been discussing the possibility of overturning Roe Vs. Wade, it seems people are raising their voices trying to help the cause. Only it may surprise you to learn, I don’t believe this is the cause we should be fighting for. As a woman with a mom, all sisters, a slew of aunts and nieces, mostly women friends, and as someone who has spent more than half her life mentoring and ministering to women of all ages, let me tell you:

 Abortion is not the problem, it is a symptom. 

Though I am not a mom, I am at that age where I know a lot of moms. My sisters and sister-in-laws are moms. My friends are moms. And now, even some of my former youth ministry students are moms. And each and every baby they’ve had is literally a part of them walking outside their body. They would lay down their lives for their children. 

So what is the difference between a woman who gives birth to her baby, and a woman who aborts her baby? Not as much as you would think. Their differences are more external than internal. And often the women who give up their babies believe they don’t have a choice. Which leads me to abortion being a symptom, because—have you thought about what it’s like being a woman in our country, lately?

What is the difference between a woman who gives birth to her baby, and a woman who aborts her baby? Not as much as you would think.

Did you know 85-95% of women hate their bodies? Therapist and researcher, Hilary McBride explains in the For the Love Podcast, that in our country, “We are steeped in diet culture and we have a very specific body ideal that has been reinforced through media over and over and over again. Basically a disappearing female body, except for the parts that are highly sexualized, … The woman’s body must disappear, except for the parts that are created into sexual objects for the pleasure of others.”

We as women are taught to disappear.

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), one in every five women will be raped within their lifetime. One in three will experience some form of sexual assault. And one in four girls will be sexually abused before they turn eighteen. Eighty-one percent of these women report long or short-term impacts including PTSD.

Then, for those of us who work hard at our jobs, those of us who have to pay the rent and support our families, we’re still told our work is not valuable. According to this article in Money Magazine, women make $.80 on the dollar, compared to Men—if you’re white. If you are a woman and black or hispanic, you earn 62.5% or 54.4% of the dollar. If you are a man reading this, imagine only taking home eighty percent of your paycheck every week solely because of your gender. Then tacking on an additional tax because of the color of your skin.

In our country, we as women are told our bodies are too much, our bodies are not our own, and our work isn’t enough. How can we expect women to bravely bring life into this world when we’re fighting for our own value to be seen? For our rights to be equal?

I had a friend tell me she had to have a procedure done at the hospital. I remember visiting her after to make sure she was ok. A week later, she told me she’d had an abortion. She hadn’t wanted me to try to talk her out of it—because her whole future and livelihood would have been threatened. She didn’t have a support system. She couldn’t see another way. 

That day, she told me God didn’t love her anymore because she knew what she did was wrong when she did it. Though she felt she literally had no other choice, she believed God wouldn’t forgive her. And she didn’t allow me to convince her otherwise.

In our country, we as women are told our bodies are too much, our bodies are not our own, and our work isn’t enough. How can we expect women to bravely bring life into this world when we’re fighting for our own value to be seen? For our rights to be equal?

Abortion is horrible, but it’s not the problem. The problem is that women are not valued the way they should be. I know not every situation is like my friend’s, but you can’t convince me that if women had more choices, they would make them. That if women were seen not as sexual objects and instead as fellow complex human beings, motherhood, for some, wouldn’t feel like a death sentence. That if academic systems and businesses valued women’s part to play so much they paid them fairly and made space for pregnancy—things would be different. 

In order for us to value the lives of the unborn in our country, we first need to value the lives of the women who carry them.

Tomorrow is International Women’s Day. Please tell a woman you love how important she is in this world. 

Are you in the midst of making a hard decision? Contemplating a big life change? If so, you may be interested in my FREE Making Changes Checklist that I give to all my email friends. Want your free copy?  subscribe here.