Do you remember your first day of school? Having to figure out what classroom you belonged in, where to sit, and who to talk to? All of your new classmates and even your teacher seemed at least a little scary. And, if like me, you changed schools at an older age, that first day felt even more daunting. For some reason, the older we get, the greater the potential to feel self conscious. Because, no matter what our age,
Beginning new things, in new places is always hard.
As a kid, I thought new things were hard because I was just that—a kid. For some reason, I believed becoming an adult would make everything easier. If only that were true.
When, in reality, adulthood gives us even more opportunities to be the new kid. When we start our first job in our chosen profession, out of college. When we move to a new city for that job, and all of a sudden, need to make friends all over again. When we get married, and have to figure out what it is like to live with someone we’ve tied our whole lives to. When we become first time parents. When we decide to take up a new hobby, because whether it’s CrossFit or cross stitch, it’s not as easy as it looks. Or, finally, when we find ourselves on an entirely new career path. All of a sudden, once again,
We’re the new kid.
Left to navigate unknown social rules, unfamiliar computer software, and unforeseen expectations, we pretend we know what we’re doing. When really, we feel a little like we’re drowning—even if we have the degree, the experience, or have read all the books. The phrase “fake it till you make it,” takes on a whole new meaning. And we secretly wonder,
“Did I make the right choice?”
“Am I going to make this?”
“Will I ever fit here?”
If you are feeling this way today, friends, I want to tell you there’s some good news:
You ARE going to get through this.
Just as you got through all your “first days” in school, you will get through being the new kid in this area of your life. Just as you made it through algebra, and your senior year exams in college, you will make it. I just need you to remember this one thing,
Someday, this will be old news.
The things you find hard right now, you’re going to figure out. In one month or six—maybe even a year—you’ll be teaching people how to do what you’re learning right now. The city that seems so hard to navigate, will become like home to you. You’ll find your favorite coffee place, and a restaurant that serves the best Thai or Indian food you’ve even had. People will visit, and you will be able to take them to these places without google maps.
Your new boss who is hard to read? May always be hard to read. But you will get to know enough about her to get along, and even succeed. That which is new and scary today, will be routine tomorrow.
You can do this. Don’t Give up.
Where are you the new kid, in your life?
What new things do you need to learn or stick out, until you figure them out?
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I’ve lived in our “new” city for three years and still haven’t fully adjusted. It’s a long process in a new place, and it takes a long time to go deep with new people. Thank you for the encouragement!
So glad this was encouraging, Heather. I remember moving here to Pennsylvania, it took me a long time to feel adjusted too.