When I finally got a job in youth ministry, after a year of searching and waiting, I almost couldn’t believe it. Accepting the job offer however, felt like—what I imagine—jumping out of a plane feels like. At twenty-three I was moving to a new state with a new job that felt bigger and grander than I could have pictured. It was exhilarating, and it was scary.

Five years later, after a season of both savoring and struggling with my singleness—Tony proposed. I can’t explain to you the emotional high I felt when he ask me to be his wife. I physically felt as if my feet no longer touched the ground. I have never been one of those girls who believed my life would be complete with a husband, but I knew that with Tony, it would be better.

Change is almost always good, when it is the change we want. Whether it is a big change like I described above, or simply dying our hair a new shade, change can feel pretty incredible. It can be to our lives or hearts, what a good cup of coffee can do to our brains in the morning. It makes us think more clearly and feel more alive. But, as I also shared in the beginning:

Even good change can be scary.

No matter how long we’ve waited or prayed for certain changes, they all require some things to end so that they can begin. They all require letting go of what has passed, to take a hold of something better. And many of them, not only change our circumstances, but they also change us.

Change is a big deal. 

That is why it is important to remember a few things about the changes we dream about, work toward, and long for. For this reason, I want to share a few things I have learned about change on the journey:

Changes/Opportunities don’t come along every day.

When an opportunity comes our way—one that is exciting and seems to fit with so many of our dreams—it can surprise us and others when we don’t say yes right away. But the bigger the opportunity, the more likely the fear of failure will rear its ugly head. We may be tempted to stay exactly where we are, and tell people some nitpick reason for why this change is not the one for us. But what if it is? If you have been waiting for a long time, you know these chances don’t come around often. So talk to trusted friends and mentors to help you determine what is fear and what are actually good reasons to say no.

Some changes aren’t for us.

Sometimes, opportunities can come up that look like EVERYTHING we want, except for one tiny, little important detail. Like the time I dated a guy in college who was smart, kind, responsible, and interesting—but our lives were going in completely different directions. I liked so much about him, but he wasn’t for me. My desire to be with someone was not enough of a reason to take up both of our time in a relationship that wouldn’t last. I had this opportunity in front of me, yet it wasn’t one I should take. If you are in this place, there may be people in your life cheering you on to “go for it.” But pay attention to your gut. Pay attention to the whole picture; if there is even a small yet important piece out of place, it may be time to close the door.

Change takes work.

There is a whole generation of us who grew up on Disney movies that told us our Prince would come. That a fairy godmother would fix our clothes. That we’d live happily ever after. And though many of us know by now, it’s not real, I do think we have a fairy tale mindset when it comes to change. We talk about our dreams or the changes we long for, in the “someday” tense.

“Someday, I’ll go back to school.” “Someday, I will start a business.” “Someday…” 

We easily get caught in the nine to five grind, or what I’ve heard some mom’s refer to as the “mommy swamp,” and we wait for someone to rescue us. We wait for something to change. We forget that though we don’t have power over everything in our lives, we still have the power to change things. If you are wishing for a fairy godmother or prince to show up on your doorstep, chances are the person you are waiting for is already there. It’s you. There are things only you can do that can and will bring about good change in your life. So go do it.

What have you learned about change?

What change are you longing for right now?

 

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