Three months into my first job in youth ministry, I sat in the office of one of my coworkers. My shoulders were hunched. My eyes were heavy. I was afraid I was going to cry if I said too much. 

I felt so empty.

Across from me sat one of the few fellow women leaders on our staff. She was a force, and yet cast a motherly gaze directly into my face. Though I was trying hard to keep it together, she drew out of me what I needed so badly to say:

The way I was leading and living wasn’t working.

Or should I say, all I was doing was ministry. I wasn’t leaving myself much time to live. To take a break. To settle into the new town I had just moved into. I felt so alone.

But rather than focus on that last part—I so badly wanted to make friends—my coworker asked me an interesting question. She asked,

“Melissa, do you have any hobbies?”

She followed up by asking me if I liked to read, hike, paint, etc. Then told me how much she loved reading the Harry Potter books. They offered her an escape from the stresses of ministry that helped restore her heart and mind. She said I needed to find activities that would fill me back up, because all I was doing was emptying myself out.

I needed to find activities that would fill me back up, because all I was doing was emptying myself out.

Sometimes, the next right thing for us to do is not big and fancy. It’s not to try harder, put ourselves out there more, or set impressive goals. Instead, we need to ask:

How do I need to be filled?

Over the past few weeks, as we prepared for the New Year, I thought of all the usual things we try to do in January. The reevaluation of our values and life dreams. The goals we set to help move us forward. But each time I thought about beginning the New Year in this way,

I once again felt empty.

Only not the kind of empty I felt that day in my coworker’s office. The kind that came from a few hard months of work. Rather, the kind of tired depletion that comes from almost two whole years of limited contact with loved ones, trying to move forward when plans and policies keep changing, and living with so much unknown. 

Though we’re all facing our own individual nuances, the pandemic has taken more from us than we may ever be able to quantify—and it’s not over.

I know I am not alone in this. For the first time in our lives, all of us are going through the same hard thing at the same time. Though we’re all facing our own individual nuances, the pandemic has taken more from us than we may ever be able to quantify—and it’s not over. It’s exhausting.

So rather than power through, we need to take some time to power up. To refuel. To be intentional about the things that will feed us mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Not to be self involved, but rather so we can continue the good and important work we’re all seeking to do in the world. And so we can continue to love our people well.

I don’t know what pressures you’re feeling this season to kick off 2022 on a high note. To join the latest fitness or health craze. Or to simply keep putting a smile on your face.

Friends, I don’t know what pressures you’re feeling this season to kick off 2022 on a high note. To join the latest fitness or health craze. Or to simply keep putting a smile on your face. But today, all I want to ask of you is this: take some time to find out what fills you up, then make time to do it. We don’t know how long this hard season will last, and we won’t survive this journey running on empty. 

Where do you feel depleted?

What activities fill you up?

Friends, with this in mind, I am not releasing my Start Here Dream Planner for 2022. If you want more on finding what fuels you—as well as a free guide to help center your thoughts—click here and sign up for my bimonthly email.

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