There are times in life when we get to be deliriously happy. As a kid, for me, this looked like our Grampa spontaneously taking us out for ice cream. Waking up to our mom baking blueberry muffins. And running down the beach with our cousins. For some reason, it doesn’t take much to experience complete joy as a kid.

It doesn’t take much to experience complete joy as a kid.

Though as adults, we too, have our own spectacular moments. For me, this happiness has looked like riding a train through the country side of India. The night Tony told me he loved me. And of course, our wedding day.

Only if there are days of deep joy, there are also those equally steeped in grief. The season my parents hit a rough patch. The times at school I didn’t feel like I belonged. The year my mom was sick and doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. And as an adult, it was losing Grampa. Close friendships coming to an end. Then feeling broken by both my job and community at the same time. 

Some seasons reverberate primarily with a singular emotion.

Though the longer I live, I am finding most seasons do not. Most seasons invite us to hold the good and the incredibly hard, both at the same time. One rarely waits for the other to finish before it takes its turn.

I’ve felt this way a lot this year.

I have a feeling you have too. Because as COVID has caused us to experience fear, loss, and so much more—life has continued. I’ve watched online as friends, family, and former students have graduated college, gotten engaged and married, had babies, and like us, have bought homes. 

Good things have happened in 2020.

They’ve just been tinged with all that couldn’t be. The graduation ceremonies that people envisioned. The vacations that were planned then cancelled. The weddings that became much smaller affairs. And now, the Thanksgivings that aren’t going to look the way we want them too.

This year is one long invitation to continue to practice gratitude in the midst of all that has been lost.

This year is one long invitation to continue to practice gratitude in the midst of all that has been lost. To learn how to let go of “things as they’ve alway been.” To find new and good ways of living even in the midst of what is temporarily impossible.

So many of us are going to be tempted this season to do things the way we always have anyway. To ignore the recommended parameters—even to go against what we feel comfortable with—to make our family members happy. Only, forcing our traditions into this new normal won’t make us feel better. It won’t take away the heaviness of this year.

Only, forcing our traditions into this new normal won’t make us feel better. It won’t take away the heaviness of this year.

This holiday season, we must walk the tightrope between joy and grief. Grasping the former just enough that we aren’t succumbing to denial. While holding the latter at bay so it doesn’t sweep us into despair. It is living in this tension that will carry us through, while also recognizing:

This too shall pass.

The Pandemic will end. The grief we feel today will lessen. Our worries will change. 

For this reason, this season, we must celebrate what is good. Accept what can’t be. As we hold onto the hope of the deliriously happy moments still to come. 

Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy Thanksgiving.

What struggles are your facing this holiday season?

What good things do you still need to celebrate?

Have you too, struggled with finding focus since the Pandemic? Are you having a hard time feeling productive because you feel mentally exhausted? Sign up for my email list today, and receive a free copy of my Six Ways to Find Focus in a Pandemic. It will help you find your footing again.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash