A few years ago, I remember going to the movies with a new friend. We had both realized we were reading the same book in hopes of finishing it in time to see the movie when it came out in theaters. So, we decided to go see the movie together.
The week it came out, we got to the theater really early. As the two of us sat in our seats, in the dark, waiting for the previews to start, all of a sudden, I felt nervous. What are we going to talk about? I began to wonder. Then I realized I had experienced this feeling before. Minus all the physical attraction stuff, it felt like I was on a first date.
Making new friends is hard.
Not only that, but friendships take time. In fact, as adults, I would say they seem to take much longer than they did when we were kids. Because we don’t have this natural, built in schedule of school to see each other, it takes a lot more effort to grow a friendship.
As an introvert who can easily get caught up in her work or other activities—and who is married to a fellow introvert with similar tendencies—friendships definitely haven’t been our strong suit. We have however learned a few ways of connecting with our people that are fun and very doable.
Though this is the last post in our summer series, we are officially only one week into summer. This means, most of summer and it’s long, warm days are ahead of us. It is the perfect season to make time to be with our friends and to work on the friendships we’d like to have. With this in mind, here are a few of our favorite ways of spending time our friends:
Desert, Drinks, & Games
We actually call this one DD&D, as one of our favorite games to play with our people is Dutch Blitz. It’s a fast-paced card game and we’ve added a little competition, making the scoring girls vs. guys. Sometimes you don’t have time to plan a whole dinner but you can invite your friends over for games, open a bottle of wine, and make a pan of brownies or apple crisp. The prep time is so simple, and the time together is so worth it.
Book Club
This is a great way to hang out with friends—both new and old. Choose a book that seems to be universal in it’s appeal (food memoirs are often great for this). Then decide if you want to meet up every few weeks to talk about a few chapters at a time. Or, invited people to read the entire book and meet for a one time discussion. I’ve found my most success with the latter. Set a date, invite your fellow book nerds over, and come up with a few thoughtful questions to get people talking. Then, the night of, lay out a spread of snacks (maybe a Charcuterie board?), and enjoy a fun night of good conversation.
Charcuterie to the rescue.
You know those beautiful Instagram photo’s of wooden cutting boards filled with meats, cheeses, crackers, fruit, and fig jam? Other wise known as Charcuterie Boards? They are so in right now. And they are a really fun, easy and interactive way of feeding your guests—without having to know how to cook! Check out the Roasted Root’s fun guide to creating a Legit Charcuterie Board. Then invite a friend or a few over for Charcuterie and drinks (or fruit infused water, if alcohol isn’t your thing).
Cookout at a local park.
Want to know how to have a cookout with your friends, without having to clean your house? Meet up at a local park that has picnic tables and grills already available. Bring some coals, lighter fluid, and a lighter—as well as all your burgers, hot dogs, chips, salad, etc. Maybe use the volleyball court or have a whiffle ball game at the baseball diamond. Being outdoors has a great way of breaking the ice and lightening the mood—especially if you’re with new friends.
Go for coffee or try something new.
Some friendships need one on one time to grow. As a coffee drinker, I would say one of my favorite ways to get to know someone, is to meet for coffee. As I said Monday, important things happen at tables. And often coffee is a good stand-in for food. But, if coffee is not your thing, getting together for a walk or run, asking a friend to help you work on your home or yard (and including food or something that makes it enjoyable for them), or taking a class together if you have similar hobbies—are all great ways of getting to know a friend one on one. Don’t be afraid to try something new and ask someone to come along for the ride. You never know how your friendship could grow.
What are some ways you connect best with your friends?
When as the last time you initiated doing something with a new friend?
Are you in the midst of making a decision? Contemplating a life change? If so, you may be interested in my FREE Making Changes Checklist that I give to all my email friends. Want your free copy? subscribe here.
Photo by Jessica Ruscello on Unsplash
